BOOB MILK ICE CREAM
An ice cream parlor in London has made a new flavor of ice cream, and from the sounds of it, Baskin and Robbins will NOT be welcoming it as their 32nd flavor (those of you unfamiliar with B&R, get familiar; especially with their peanut butter and chocolate. It is worth every caloric bite). So what was this particular parlor’s bright idea for the next rage in ice cream? Breast milk. Yes, you heard me, their latest ice cream concoction lists breast milk as one of its ingredients.
They are calling this brain child of revulsion ‘Baby Gaga,' and of course are pushing its organic and ‘free range’ properties. Maybe it's me, but what is organic and free range about breast milk? The fact that the women in question weren’t raised in cramped cages getting stuffed full of hormones? Have you lived in a city? The flats are indeed the size of chicken crates, and more importantly, what if the donators of this said breast milk were crack smoking, twinkie shoveling junkies? Is that still considered organic?
The problem – the first of many – is that one just doesn’t know where this milk is coming from, and I don’t know about you, but milk from a cow that sits chewing on grass all day is one thing. Milk from crazy bag lady Shirley sitting next to me on the bus picking the bugs out of her hair is another thing.
Apparently this parlor put an ad out for mothers to donate their breast milk, and wouldn’t you know it, people did. One woman who donated actually remarked...I have to quote her cause it's just that good...
"What could be more natural than fresh, free-range mother's milk in an ice cream? And for me it's a recession beater too — what's the harm in using my assets for a bit of extra cash. I tried the product for the first time today — it's very nice, it really melts in the mouth."
Sorry, I just almost threw up. Ah yes, people out there are clearly open to doing just about anything for cash. I suppose my tantamount question is why? Why why WHY? Why would anyone make breast milk ice cream, and more importantly, why would anyone want to eat breast milk ice cream? What happened to good old fashioned strawberry, or live large, go for Rocky Road. But ingesting another woman’s breast milk is just pushing the palette boundaries as far as I’m concerned.
.....then again, on a dare, I did try my best friend’s breast milk – in a shot glass, I’m not a total freak. And let me tell you, it certainly wasn’t good enough to make a sundae out of it.