FEMINIST IS NOT A DIRTY WORD
Of late, I’ve been trying to
figure out when “feminism” became such a dirty word. By definition, feminism can
be defined as the advocacy of women’s
rights on the grounds of the equality of the sexes.
God that sounds atrocious
(yes, that’s sarcasm people). Let that sink in for a moment…
When you read that
definition it’s hard to understand how every woman on this planet is not a
feminist and shouting it proudly from the top of a woman-owned building in women-designed shoes. We are
still paid less than men, still facing a very thick glass ceiling, still being
trafficked, objectified, raped, (in some countries cannot drive or vote) and still have to say things like, “Thank you, but
can you look at my eyes when I speak and not my chest.” (These are not opinions people, these are facts).
Like I’m sure many have, the
#Metoo movement has sparked all sorts of conversations between my friends and
I, at dinner parties, in the playground, at work etc. And while I’ve always been
a very proud feminist some of my women friends, to my surprise, make sure I know they are not, as if it’s a dirty word associated with showerless women who burn
bras and hate men. I suppose my first question always is, if you're not a feminist, by its sheer definition, then what are you? Someone who doesn't want equal rights for women? Or someone that simply doesn't care cause you have plenty of rights and sod the women who don't? This then spurs me to want to grab the dictionary and just
read them the definition as I’m convinced they must be misunderstanding the words… um,
you’re a woman, don’t you want equal rights for, you know, women? And for the
record, I shower, I love men (with exception), and am raising a damn fine son who is indeed a feminist (as this is not just reserved for women) and understands that women are his equal and are on this planet to be respected
and revered.
Like any movement, the
feminist movement has a long checkered past and yes, there have been
participants of all types, convictions (as in passion, not criminal) and affinities to showers. Some of these
women could certainly be called militant in their belief systems, and some
simply want equality for women without having to shout it from the rooftops.
But herein lies the problem, like it or not, change doesn’t always happen through the stoic types who support the movement but aren’t ready to holler it loudly.
Sometimes change is only brought about by those ready to adopt the 'by any means
necessary' stance. For every Gloria Steinem, there is a Rose McGowan, who is
angry, unruly and eager to make enemies along the way cause she feels like she has no other choice. Remember, change is also very uncomfortable for those that don’t want change. I strongly
believe that the loudest voices sometimes need to be heard to shake things up,
as it is far too easy to sink back into what is deemed normal. And women
accepting (or shall we say, tolerating) a male dominated society’s view of normal is what got us into this
sh*t in the first place.
My other response to those
that think the movement has gone to far is this, with every movement there is
going to be a bloodletting. Things may go too far at times because there has
been silence and acceptance for so long, and when the volcano blows, it’s damn hot and leaves
nothing unscathed. But in time, things will settle down and hopefully a new normalcy will come
out of this, a bar of which we all should strive for (for men and for women), a new definition for what is acceptable behaviour. The other thing we should be focusing on is what has gotten out of hand is not this latest movement, but the fact that so many women have been silent for so many years and all of this abuse/assault has been allowed to persist.
But most importantly what this entire movement has done is start a dialogue.
And it is loud and messy and complicated, but it needs to be had. The fact that we
are talking about Aziz Ansari over a dinner table and wondering where the line is and if he’s being unfairly maligned means the movement is long overdue. It has brought a voice to the silent corners, the uncomfortable
ambiguities that men and women often never discuss. It has also shone a light on
the voiceless, a very important demographic that is easy to forget if you’ve
always had a voice. This is one of those watershed moments that no matter if
you’re a man or a woman, you need to take a step back and remind yourself that
this is a time for listening, a time for dialogue and a time to understand that
everyone has their own experience and it’s not always pretty, easy, or comfortable.
So rock on my feminist
sisters. I’m proud to stand with you (on a rooftop).