Wednesday 7 October 2015


There is a new app causing a real uproar in the cyber world due to its fundamental vileness (for lack of a more eloquent way to describe it). The ‘Peeple’ app allows people (gosh they're witty) to rate other human beings that they know in the same way people rate hotels, restaurants, and stores. My first response when I heard about this was, WHY, dear god why do we need an app where we rate our 'friends?' Was there really such a void in the app world for such a thing? (Ding ding ding: NO).  God knows we don’t have enough unsolicited opinions/comments in the cyber world from know-it-all trolls who are dying to voice their negativity;  now we need an app where we rate one another? And let's be frank, we're a superficial (cruel) society. Friend or no friend, I highly doubt people are going to be writing about one another's scintillating intellect. 

The founders of this app assure the public that before anything is posted, it will be pre-screened for abuse. Uh huh. And there is this fantastic bridge I have for sale here in London if you’re interested. They of course go on to remind users that once you sign onto this app (UM, as it’s a choice, whatever moron signs up for this abuse, well, they almost deserve it), you will not be able to delete comments made about you, nor will you be able to remove yourself from the site once you sign on. So in short, for those of you still not in full grasp of the internet, once you step in the wet cement, your footprints are there FOR LIFE.

The uproar – as imagined – has called the app everything from ‘irresponsible,’ ‘creepy,’ to downright bullying. And honestly, they’re not wrong. However, from the sounds of it the founders of this brainchild are somehow trying to suggest that their app is going to singlehandedly spread positivity in the world. But of course! Cause now you can rate your friends and express how great they are (cause you couldn’t do this in person to your best friend; Nah, that would be too…personal and discreet). And once you say or receive these positive accolades, you can then share the positive things said about you. Oh my god, I can literally hear ‘Sound of Music,’ in the background, what a wonderful rainbow world we live in! Look everyone, people think I'm special, they really like me! 

Julia Cordray, one of the co-founders, says that for those of us fearing that people out there will resort to negativity instead of positivity, the site will heavily police what is submitted before it is posted to make sure nothing racist, hateful, sexual or profane is said. All I can say, is that this company better have a HUGE staff ready and waiting for the tsunami of negative sh*t coming their way, cause the cyber world as far as I can see, breeds negativity like a parasitic petri dish.

I think my altogether favourite thing said by Ms. Cordray is that it is perfectly normal for people to fear the app as it’s new. And people fear new, according to Julia….well, I don’t know about you, but I also fear negativity, bullying and people spewing utter bullsh*t to push a product.  Her brilliant scientifically steeped defense: “When the people found out that Earth was round instead of flat and that we revolved around the sun instead of the Sun revolving around us, naturally people were upset and confused and they pushed back with all that they had.” Haaaaaaaa. Yes, this is exactly like that, Jules. 

Trust me, I’m not confused nor are the critics of this app. In fact, we’re very much NOT confused. This is a case of the public knowing how the cyber world operates, the trolls it beckons from under the stairs, and the pointless negativity that ensues from apps like these. Not to mention the utter pointlessness of the app in and of itself.

But go on, tell your friends how much you like their new hairstyle on your new Peeple app (that will require 5/10 more minutes in your day to do so, so use your time wisely. Ahem.). You know what, I’m feeling more positive already.

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