PRECIOUS
A funny thing happens when you
hit your 40's (yes, I am woman enough to admit that I’m indeed there). You
start realizing that in many ways, you are the best that you have ever been
[or at least you feel that way; I suppose in truth you could be utterly
deluded]. You’re more confident and at ease in your skin, and you’ve trimmed
the proverbial fat in your life and realize that more (friends,
hanger ons, stuff etc.) isn’t necessarily a good thing. In fact, there is nothing more
liberating than realizing who truly has your back and what you need in life. And trust me, by your 40s
you figure this out damn fast.
Moreover, for many who are in your 40s, you’ve reached that place in love, career, and life where things have
settled into an acceptable groove; You know what you like and more importantly what you don't like. You’ve hit a few meaningful benchmarks, you’ve
hopefully found that life partner, and you can actually be proud of your
accomplishments and have the confidence to pat yourself on the back. As opposed
to those other pesky decades when confidence was in fleeting supply and you
often failed to relish in the moments you should have. (Saying this, when I now meet a self possessed 20 year old who truly knows who they are and what they want, it takes everything in my power not to hug them and weep with envy).
Then the irony hits you, with
all this new found knowledge and inner peace that you’ve managed to accrue, you
realize that this is the decade you NEED it the most. Perhaps it’s just me, but
suddenly everywhere I turn, I encounter another tale that sobers me right up in
regards to the fleetingness of life. (I partially blame sobriety for this, as
in my 20's, I was simply moving too fast and loose to care about the
realities of life). In the last few years, I have lost close friends to cruel diseases,
the C word starts rearing it’s head everywhere I look (that’s cancer, not the
other C word. Then again, any four letter word comes in handy at this point in my life), and the realities of life – such as death, disease and divorce, start coming fast and furiously. Then of course I quickly find myself wanting to curl up
beside the King at night and compete for his teddy bear. ‘Damn it, you don’t
need it like I do, you’re 5. You’re worst trauma is that the supermarket runs
out of cheese!’
It’s not that any of these
things failed to occur when one was younger. For many, sadly their young lives
are rife with certain tragedies the rest of us have been lucky enough to avoid.
But with one’s 40s (and 50’s and so on), you truly realize the preciousness of
everything. In short, what you have to lose and how grateful you are to have it - and losing it would require a world's supply of Xanax.
And moreover, you like life damn it, and you don’t want things to change!
I suppose this is the thing people have been saying our whole lives,
it’s only until now we can truly hear it. Life is indeed precious. And
fleeting. So engage in your life and truly be grateful. It’s that simple…or at my age, it should be.