X AND Y
With all this talk in the
press lately about nature vs. nurture and being who we’re meant to be, whether
it’s gay, transgender, heterosexual, bi etc. it is easy to forget that from
conception, we are simply one big recipe that thanks to our parental chefs could’ve
gone either way in terms of our genetic combinations. And trust me, there are
no choices in what we get, it’s a set menu if you will, like it or not.
The interesting and most
ironic thing about the entire debate that most people don’t know - especially
those uber male dissenters who insist that being macho is the ONLY way to
define masculinity - is that we all began in the womb as female. Yes,
you heard me, no matter who you are, be it a macho, beer guzzling lumberjack or
a gay male dancer…or for that matter, a gay lumberjack dancer, we began in the
womb as females and followed that blueprint for the first few weeks of
development. Then, thanks to hormones, we progressed down one gender path or
another. But when you look at it in those terms, you (hopefully) realize that
not only did we all start from the same (female!) place, but it’s a fine line
between masculine and feminine; furthermore, the cooking process is a bit
haphazard in terms of how your human cake will turn out. Take a highly
testosterone male, vs. a more metrosexual, female oriented one, it’s simply a difference
in the amounts of hormones that ended up in the final product. It wasn’t chosen
by your parents, it wasn’t bought, it was decided almost randomly in the womb.
It just is.
For those skeptics out there
that refuse to believe that in utero they were female (take that misogynists!!)
let me break it down for you scientifically (with help of course). In short, we
all start as a generic embryo. We have a set of female or male sex chromosomes,
but the differences don’t really kick in until your hormones enter stage left.
So without, say, testosterone, you would remain on the path to womanhood. So,
for those of you that have not had your coffee yet, I repeat, we all start
the same. It is our sex hormones that make us different in the long run.
Furthermore, scientists explain that the mere existence of men’s parts
emphasize that lady parts were indeed beginning to form in utero. So, you myopic,
pig headed homophobes out there, get a grip, once upon a time, you too had a
vagina!
The first telltale sign that
men started out as women: nipples. Yes, there isn’t a day that goes by that the
King doesn’t ask me what they’re for. At this point, his are just decoration.
But in my belly, with the right hormones introduced, the King’s pointless
nipples would have developed into potential milk machines later in life. And
how happy he would’ve been, as I secretly believe that if most men had (real)
boobs, they wouldn’t leave the house.
The second sign: a man’s
beloved unit. During a boy baby’s development, various hormones are produced that
cause the internal and external genitalia to develop differently than their
female counterparts. So because of a hormone called DHT, the little bud, if you
will, then grows into a penis. But without it, it would grow into a clitoris.
And with the help of another hormone called MIS, it means that men won’t grow
reproductive tracts. But of course, the existence of hermaphrodites is proof
that sometimes the recipe isn’t as fine tuned as one thinks.
Lastly – and yes, I’m going
to throw more fun biological words at you – the last sign that you males were
once up for gender grabs, is that seam running down your, ahem…joystick, so to
speak. In scientific terms, it’s called a raphe line, and if you didn’t have
it, well, you’d have a vagina. In utero, at one point, all embryos have an
opening at their genitals. Depending on the hormone contribution, the opening
is either fused together (and you become a dude) or isn’t, and you ‘remain’ a
woman.
So, as you can see, hormones
(as I’ve always screamed from the rooftops) are the most powerful little forces
out there. And of course, it’s a delicate balance and depending on how you’re
marinated, so to speak, will determine how female or male you become. So all
you men out there that think you’re the sh*t cause you’re oh so manly, well you
started out female, so simmer down the next time you feel like railing against
men who want to throw on a dress and to be frank (or Shirley) you could’ve gone
either way.