SHAKE YOUR BIG THANG
A friend of mine, who has a
child in the King’s class, just called to tell me that she was just kicked out
of a music class with her other son. She wasn’t dragged by her hair or anything
(although I wouldn’t put it pass these particular people who run this class)
but she was told that the leaders of this music class have decided that her 2-year-old
son is not 'Blank’ material. I shall withhold shaming them (for now).
The King and I used to go to
this same music group when he was the same age. From the start I was not a fan, as
you have to become a member (for a fee of course, for a sodding music class)
and then pay on top of that for the class itself. Fine, I can live with that;
they’re running a business. But from the get go, as they have been in operation
for many years, they give you this diatribe as if joining this group, you are
being inducted into the Rock ’n Roll Hall of fame and you should count yourself
lucky. Um, you’re singing to my kid dressed up in costumes, this is not the
West End people.
Now don’t get me wrong, the
women leading the group had fine voices and they were quite creative in terms
of costumes and what they’d sing. And some of the songs, and we’ll get back to the word
some, the kids ‘were allowed’ to join in the dancing and take part. The King of course used to think this was pretty damn amusing, as most children would. The problem
was (and IS, as my friend just got kicked out), that if it wasn’t a song they
deemed participatory, your child had to sit on your lap like a stone and not
move an inch as they performed for you. If your child did get up and move, they would lead him back to you by the hand with a
stink eye that would fill you with mother shame. I hate mother shaming, in any
form. They would then after class remind you that in their class, children must be kept under control. (Clearly none of these witches had boys).
Now keep in mind, most of
these kids that take this class are under two. Can you tell an under 2 year old
to sit still? Cause I sure as hell can’t. In fact, Benadryl couldn’t make the
King sit still back then, even if I poured the whole bottle down his throat
(don’t panic, I didn’t try this). Not only would the King hear the music and
want to get up and dance, stroll, bend, skip...what have you, he would also want to
play with their props and interactively participate (this was sometimes
hysterical as they’d be mid song and he’d just walk up, pick something up and
take off with it). I'd of course cheer him on from the sidelines, 'run boy, run!!!'
So in short, after being
scolded and stared at one too many times by these ‘Take That’ singing, wig
wearing militants, the King and I decided that we needed a more free form sing
and dance class, where he (like his nutty mother) could shake his groove thing
with reckless abandon and not be hemmed in by rules. (Don’t they know there are
no rules in dancing?!)
So, according to my friend
who was just asked to leave the class, apparently their stringent manifesto is still in
place. Her son, similarly to the King, is another boy (ahem, toddler!!) who finds sitting still
challenging at the best of times. And fine, in principle I get it, from an
early age you want to tell your children that there will be times when they
will have to sit still and obey the rules (zzzzzzzzzz, sorry, was I saying
something?), but from where I stand, dancing and rules have no place at the
same party!