Tuesday 9 September 2014


The King had his first day of school on Monday - BIG school, with uniform and all. Fine, at his level they are still greeted with playdough and painting stations, but sod it, they are in the system and are not getting out for sometime (unless he runs away and joins the circus, but I'm hoping he sees reason. Circus life is not for him).

Between the two of us, I was definitely the more nervous. He approached it like he does most things, casual, asked a litany of questions. Do they have food there? Is there sand? Does my uniform have blue on it?’ You know, the important things, and I answered them calmly, while I simultaneously sh*t my pants that my baby has grown up far too quickly. On the plus side, the school is right next to our house, so I’m often caught lurking at the gate, peering inside to watch him play. I’m gathering the teachers that don’t know me are probably sending my photo to the police.

Of course, there is a tremendous amount of liberation (for both of us, I'm gathering) in sending them off to school (yeeehah!), while it at the same time, it dawns you that with school comes a whole boatload of other issues. The main ones pressing upon me: will he be happy, will others like him, and will I have to head to school like Rambo to serve a four year old justice for smacking my kid (I kid I kid. I’d send his father). Apparently on his first day, even though I discussed relentlessly the concept of introducing himself to other kids to make new friends (4 year olds don’t really get this concept), there were some tears shed on the King’s part because he could find no one to play with him. Yes, a little bit of me died inside. I know I know, I’m a puddle of jelly, but the notion of one’s child sitting alone in the playground looking for someone to play with would even wound Charles Manson's heart. Okay, maybe I’ve overreaching but it’s brutal for even the most hardened mother to bear.

The other thing that looms in my head is will my little King behave himself or will he quickly earn the reputation for being the little trouble maker that doesn’t listen? Or god forbid, he throws some giant tantrum because I put a banana in his snack bag and not a nectarine. But then I remember that other four year olds don’t judge tantrums; they are in awe of them and would probably whip out a notepad and start taking notes (okay fine, four year olds don’t write, aside from the uber gifted….Who bore me senseless). I’m also hoping that the teachers are well versed in the stage that the King is at, where his running mantra consists of ‘I can do it myself, and stop talking to me’ mixed with a dead stare where he doesn’t acknowledge a single thing you say to him. I’m hoping (never thought I’d hope for this, but hey) that he simply reserves this behavior for me, and for his teachers, he flashes his charming smile and falls in line.

Then there are the other issues of will I fit in with the other parents? Do I have to join some PTA where everyone gets surly and fights over the ingredients of the cafeteria lunches? And why are some of the parents at his school missing their teeth? 

Ah, all in a day's ponderings...

Aside from calling his teacher 'Armstrong' all day (he for some reason doesn’t like using her title of Mrs.), so far its smooth sailing for the King. Here’s to the next 14 plus years of his schooling life. Godspeed, my nectarine eating scholar. 

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