Wednesday 14 May 2014

THE LEAF SAYS YOU'RE GUILTY


[one from the archives today]

I love this story. I mean love. A Bolivian judge just admitted to reading cocoa leaves to help him make decisions in court case. Does it get any more surreally hysterical than that? Of course, there has been a public outcry for his resignation, which he wholeheartedly rejects. You have the love the man’s resolve and self righteousness.

Judge Gualberto Cusi is actually from an indigenous community called the Aymara community, where reading cocoa leaves is a part of the culture – I’m hoping, not in widespread use across the legal system, but then again, our own system has it's problems. In his defense, the judge says that he only reads cocoa leaves when he’s faced with difficult decisions – seriously, can we blame the man? I often consult my coffee dregs when deciding what the King should wear for the day. But when it comes to sentencing it’s all Judge Cusi. That should fill his victims, I’m sorry, I mean to say, the defendants with confidence.

Is it me, but anyone reading the leaf in which people make cocaine makes me a bit suspect. Cause you know he isn’t just reading those leaves. Can’t you just hear it now; “I only lick them when it’s been a very long day in court and I need a little pick me up.” The Judge of course went on to clarify his comments when members of the government called for his head on a cocoa leaf. He claimed he simply consulted the leaves when he needed ‘guidance’ and not to actually decide things. He of course did further damage to his cause when he added that these very leaves help him communicate with plants, mountains, animals and rivers. Uh huh, put down the leaf Judge Man, and step away from the gavel. Your work is done here.




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