Wednesday 22 January 2014


I must apologize for being out of the blogosphere (scary that my spellcheck didn’t flag the word blogosphere) for awhile now. On the good side, I’ve will have lots of fun links to post of articles I have been writing for a magazine over here, so stay tuned for that. On the bad side, not as much time to write for myself (and for you of course) at the moment. But as the universe is the gift that keeps on giving in way of stories to tell, it is always easy to jump right back in where I left off.

Recently in Italy, a nun gave birth to a baby boy. I will let you sit with that sentence for a moment. 

As the story goes, Roxana Rodriguez, a 31 year old, Salvadorian NUN, of course had no idea that she was pregnant until she felt some stomach cramps and was rushed to hospital. Putting denial aside for the moment, and I realize that is hard to do as the denial in this case is THICK and ENORMOUS, I’ve never understood how one does not know they are pregnant, especially up until the last moment. Now, saying this, I realize all women carry differently and the pregnancy experience is unique to the individual, but let’s be frank, you have a human being moving, churning and kicking the hell out of your insides and I don’t know about you, but that is something I’d find very hard not to notice. The King not only made me look like I swallowed a basketball, but he kicked my insides so hard he left footprints on my belly. I’m not exaggerating. Secondly, there are a numerous amount of changes that go on in one’s body that are pretty hard to ignore. The loss of one’s period (a big celebration of course), your bosom increasing (I went from small and boring to porn star in the span of four months), heartburn, stretch marks, loss of breath, low (or high) blood pressure, varicose veins, swollen ankles (swollen everything), and so on and so on. The list is long and of course varies, but this is a nine-month period packed full of change and transformation.

Back to Ms. Nun the Wiser (sorry, I just had to make a pun there), she gave birth last week to a 9 pound little boy (I bet she felt that), which she named Francesco, the pope's chosen title of course. She has decided to keep the baby, THE baby she had no idea she was apparently carrying – obviously sexual education is not big in nunneries, and to date, no man has stepped forward to claim his parental rights. I’m thinking they should have a word with the kitchen staff at the convent first and then interview the rest of the groundsmen, it’s not like Ms. Nun was hitting the dance clubs in the area (or was she?!) The other nuns at the convent in Campomoro were quoted as being “very surprised” about the birth of her baby. You can say that again. Surprised and utterly mortified is more like it. Something tells me that Ms. Rodriguez is going on a very long sabbatical to reflect on one’s oath of chastity (I of course have utterly no judgment on this topic as I’m neither religious or one to take oaths of chastity), even though she claims she did not have sex because, well, she’s a nun!

I don’t know about you, but I will be eagerly watching this space to see if the father ever reveals himself. It’s like a bad (and yet highly addictive) episode of The Real Nuns of Campomoro. Come on Fox, get on over there and start filming!

Happy Hump Day all. 

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