NUN WITH A BUN
I must apologize for being out of the
blogosphere (scary that my spellcheck didn’t flag the word blogosphere) for
awhile now. On the good side, I’ve will have lots of fun links to post of
articles I have been writing for a magazine over here, so stay tuned for that. On the bad side, not as
much time to write for myself (and for you of course) at the moment. But as the universe is the gift that keeps on
giving in way of stories to tell, it is always easy to jump right back in where
I left off.
Recently in Italy, a nun
gave birth to a baby boy. I will let you sit with that sentence for a moment.
As
the story goes, Roxana Rodriguez, a 31 year old, Salvadorian NUN, of course had
no idea that she was pregnant until she felt some stomach cramps and was rushed
to hospital. Putting denial aside for the moment, and I realize that is hard to
do as the denial in this case is THICK and ENORMOUS, I’ve never understood how
one does not know they are pregnant, especially up until the last moment. Now,
saying this, I realize all women carry differently and the pregnancy experience
is unique to the individual, but let’s be frank, you have a human being moving,
churning and kicking the hell out of your insides and I don’t know about you,
but that is something I’d find very hard not to notice. The King not only made
me look like I swallowed a basketball, but he kicked my insides so hard he left footprints on my belly. I’m not exaggerating. Secondly, there are a numerous
amount of changes that go on in one’s body that are pretty hard to ignore.
The loss of one’s period (a big celebration of course), your bosom increasing
(I went from small and boring to porn star in the span of four months),
heartburn, stretch marks, loss of breath, low (or high) blood pressure, varicose veins, swollen ankles (swollen everything), and so
on and so on. The list is long and of course varies, but this is a nine-month
period packed full of change and transformation.
Back to Ms. Nun the Wiser
(sorry, I just had to make a pun there), she gave birth last week to a 9 pound little boy (I bet she felt that),
which she named Francesco, the pope's chosen title of
course. She has decided to keep the baby, THE baby she had no idea she was
apparently carrying – obviously sexual education is not big in nunneries, and
to date, no man has stepped forward to claim his parental rights. I’m thinking
they should have a word with the kitchen staff at the convent first and then interview the
rest of the groundsmen, it’s not like Ms. Nun was hitting the dance clubs in the area (or
was she?!) The other nuns at the convent in Campomoro were quoted as being “very
surprised” about the birth of her baby. You can say that again. Surprised and
utterly mortified is more like it. Something tells me that Ms. Rodriguez is going on a very long sabbatical to reflect on one’s oath of chastity (I of
course have utterly no judgment on this topic as I’m neither religious or one
to take oaths of chastity), even though she claims she did not have sex because,
well, she’s a nun!
I don’t know about you, but I will be
eagerly watching this space to see if the father ever reveals himself. It’s
like a bad (and yet highly addictive) episode of The Real Nuns of Campomoro. Come on Fox, get on over
there and start filming!
Happy Hump Day all.