Friday 1 March 2013

MR. AND MRS. PINBALL WIZARD

Recently a public figure in the States - let’s be frank, she’s a TV host, and an abysmal one at that, but it’s a good topic of discussion - was lambasted for coming out and saying that she puts her marriage first before her child (gasp!!). As she sees it, when people have kids they more often than not put their marriage second and hence it suffers. Not to mention, if her and her husband are happy, it makes for a happier environment for her child.

Seriously, it must be an atrociously slow news cycle because I not only agree, but I don’t see what all the fuss is about especially as she's not the first person to air this viewpoint. Clearly she has hit upon a very taboo topic as it’s almost illegal in today’s society to say that your child doesn’t come first and rainbows don’t stream out of their backsides (I love the King, but what is coming out of his bottom is not even remotely rainbow-like). God forbid you don’t hand in your brain, marriage and self-identity the day you have children. And in truth, if more people put their marriages first, our divorce rate may not be as absurd as it is and there may in fact be more happier, functional families out there.

Any parent will tell you that once you have a child your marriage can tend to feel like a little steel pinball that gets catapulted, battered and flung around a machine by forces out of your control and you just have to pray you don’t end up on tilt. From where I sit, saying that you’re putting your marriage first before your child is purely being responsible; it does not mean that you’re going out clubbing five nights a week and leaving your child in a closet with an open box of cereal and a can of Coke. It means that you're going to give some attention to the very foundation of the house, if you will, and make it as strong as possible so that the sodding walls don't fall down around you. Seems like basic physics to me.

Seriously people, is that not what we all should be doing? You know the adage, 'happy parents, happy child'...[or is it 'happy parents, child at nursery.'? Can never keep that one straight]. Too often than not people put all the focus on raising their child(ren) and it gets to the point where you can barely remember your spouse’s name let alone the last time you showered. Next thing you know you've gone from the sexy days of courtship with your partner that were rife with late nights, tequila shots and salsa dancing, to more (less sexy) late nights where you spend all your time discussing sleep cycles and excrement and how little Jimmy stuck a car up another child's nose at school today.

So before you get up all in arms, it goes without saying (although the King will happily remind me) that most of the time, our children’s needs are going to usurp our own (except when their needs are actually wants. Ah negotiation, so much fun). Our job as parents is to take care of them, and most of us get this; hopefully. But just because my marriage will sometimes have to take the backseat doesn't mean the King always gets to ride shotgun. You know what I mean?

Happy Friday all.

Tuesday 26 February 2013

WATER WATER EVERYWHERE

Have you ever had to forcibly go without something which then reminds you how Western and spoiled you truly are. Or perhaps spoiled isn’t the right word, but downright blessed. Over the weekend, a water main burst in our street and our building lost water. And I tell you, by the end of the weekend I realized that I would not fair very well in a third world country, let alone the desert.

When I went out in the morning and saw the lake that was forming in our street, I didn’t think much of it aside from the fact that there was a football game (at the stadium mere feet from the burst main) on later that day and I remarked that the water company had their work cut out for them. But as all was well inside our flat, and I was busily preparing for my aunt to arrive, I figured it was just one of those city things that happens and I was happy to ignore it.

Upon my aunt’s arrival, we went about our day as per usual – which also meant dishes were accruing in the sink, meals were made, and water was going to be needed in our near future. Unbeknownst to us, by the time it came to bath time for the King, I went to turn on the tap and nothing came out. I of course then turned on the sink tap thinking, or shall I say hoping, that it was just the bath (knowing it doesn’t work like this, I’m not a total moron). Like any Einstein I did this about three times, as I was hoping it was just a momentary nightmare, only to soon confirm that fact that the water was not working full stop.

I went downstairs and shared the news with my husband and aunt that we were waterless. A lot of tap turning on and off ensued (I think they were going through the same ‘please don’t let this be true’ episode I just went through). I think the only person that was happy about this news was the King who was happy to forgo his bath time. Of course as we had just made dinner this is when things got very interesting. The dishes seemed to multiply over the span of ten minutes, we all suddenly had the burning desire to wash our hands, and the kicker, it dawned on us that not only could none of us bathe (my poor aunt had forgone a bath that morning as she figured she could take a long hot soak at my house) but the toilet would not be flushing any time soon. If there is anything that will fill an OCD person’s head with fear, it is the idea that three people will be using a toilet and won’t be able to flush it (let alone wash their hands); especially a big strong man that likes to eat loads of food. God help me.

Of course this moved my husband into Defcon 3 mode and he set about finding every bottle of water in a 3-mile radius (I think he proceeded to buy 30 bottles of water in case we were without water for the next three days). One thing I will say about him, he operates in a crisis like this with calm methodical precision. When it comes to crises that tap into my OCD, well, I’m not so calm. All I can see are dishes, toilets overflowing and unwashed bodies. Not a great combination to calm my nerves.

Needless to say by the next morning, we were all contemplating washing in a fire hydrant in the street, or at least I was planning to use the bathroom anywhere but in the house. My aunt decided it was probably a good time to head home – with me almost hiding out in the boot of her car – and my husband decided that the water bottle arsenal we had was not quite doing it, so he took the King out to buy more. By the time the water came back on that afternoon, I have to say that I have never been more excited to see a kitchen tap working in my life, and trust me, showering never felt so good.

So in honor of this, I’m going online right now and finding a water charity in Africa to donate to and am counting my very profound water blessings!

Monday 25 February 2013

BILLY RAY HARRIS

I’m sure many of you that read/watch the news have been following a now international story of a homeless man that returned a woman’s diamond wedding ring when she accidentally put it in his collection cup (he probably thought it was the best day of his life, only to soon realize his days were going to get a lot better).

The story goes that Sarah Darling from Kansas City, MO, had taken off her ring as it was giving her a rash and put it in the inside pocket of her purse. Later when she came across a homeless man, named Billy Ray Harris, she inadvertently put the ring in his cup along with some change. It wasn’t until the next day when she realized her ring was gone that she returned to where Billy Ray was living on the street, to ask him about the ring. He replied that he indeed had it and was saving it for her upon her return.

Obviously Ms. Darling (such an ironic name for this story) was so blown away by Billy Ray’s honesty that she and her husband started an online fundraiser to show their appreciation for his incredible gesture. Brace yourself, to date, as I write this, the site has collected $142,000. Yes you read that right. Donations have been pouring in from all over the world and what’s more, there are more than 90 days to go on the site and at the end of this, Billy Ray could be looking at, well, a BOATLOAD of money and a major lifestyle change.

I think the most incredible - and poignant - part of all of this is what Billy Ray Harris said himself about the incident: "What has the world come to when a person who returns something that doesn't belong to him and all this happens?'" Truly the man couldn’t have come up with a more profound statement about the human condition. What indeed has it come to when we as humans are so blown away by someone simply being honest and trustworthy? I mean, that is beyond sad and depressing. Furthermore, and don’t get me wrong here, I think it’s incredible so many people are giving to Mr. Harris and I hope it turns his life around, but shouldn’t we all be giving to those in need in the first place without an action to precipitate things? Unfortunately in today's fast paced and selfish landscape, things do not work like that anymore.

I guess all we can do now is truly commend those who are at least trying to do good in a world when many of us are making the wrong choices and forgetting we operate as a collective. Here's to you Billy Ray. Spend it wisely.

Happy Monday.

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