Thursday 12 September 2013


Continuing on with this month's fish theme...The Ugly Animal Preservation Society has just awarded its prestigious title (in the world of aesthetically challenged species that is) of mascot to the incredibly unattractive and gelatinous Blobfish. Trust me, in fish circles, this thing is ugly (almost as bad as the Pacu. Ha!) and is now the proud recipient of the [unofficial title] world’s ugliest animal.

The society (that was essentially started as a science themed comedy night; sounds like a riot doesn't it?) was started to bring notice to the world’s aesthetically challenged animals, and this was a heavily competitive race from the sounds of it. In contention: the proboscis monkey (we're talking a huge honker on this one), the scrotum frog (poor poor frog, thing about wearing that moniker your whole life), the pig-nosed turtle, and, wait for it…pubic lice. Yes ladies and gentleman apparently there are a lot of ugly creatures out there in the big wide world.

The President of the UAPS stated that he hoped this award would bring attention to the threats facing those animals out there that are not gifted in the looks department (you don’t see Pixar running out to make a film about a pubic lice now do you. Oh my god the laughter, think of the merchandising!) According to this batch of scientists, conservation, like much in the realm of human behavior, is ego driven. The public and scientific community at large is driven to protect the cute animals like the pandas and koala bears (vicious little b*stards apparently), but the blobfishes of the world, well they get the proverbial proboscis up the backside. I suppose the pig-nosed scrotum frogs of the world should thank the UAPS for flying the freak flag for them.

This campaign was open to the public to vote and the mighty blobfish won by almost 10,000 votes. And Mr. Blobfish’s backstory - as he may as well truly have his day – begins off the coast of SE Australia about 1200 meters down in the ocean where Mr. Blob hangs his blobby hat. When not feeding on crabs and lobsters, he spends his days bobbing around, drinking pina coladas (just kidding) and trying not to get stuck in fishing trawlers. 

So you see, being ugly is not easy no matter how you slice it. We’re such inherently judgmental beasts, are we not? So here’s to you Mr. Blobfish, who says your life is any less important than a panda bear; well, maybe the pig-nosed turtle would, but that’s just blatant jealousy. Simmer down turtle; it might be your turn to shine next year.

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