HIS WAY
My father has just written
his memoirs. It’s a feat for anyone really, especially someone looking back at
a career that spans over 50 years. I think we all have a memoir in us, public figure
or not and it’s a good philosophy to think about on a daily basis, i.e. ‘what
would I say in my own memoirs, and would I be proud if this or that episode
ended up in there!’ Keeps one honest or at least plants the intention!
Ordinarily I do not write or comment about my father in this blog, but with the
release of this book it brought up some interesting topics of discussion. And
you know me, I like to talk (something he and I have in common).
Let’s just say growing up
with a father in the entertainment business taught me a few things: to have a
great work ethic; that creativity is a gift and is meant to be honored and not
wasted; there is a definite art in telling a good story; ‘normal’ (and growing up
‘normal’) is subjective and open to all interpretations and definitions; and
one must have a very thick skin. [That’s the one I was never very good at,
hence why I hide behind a laptop and not a microphone]. And so over the years
it’s been a balancing act between having a father like any one else, and having
a father in the entertainment business, and all that it brings with it. Things
were not always traditional, I was exposed to things many people weren’t, and
things certainly were never dull whereas my father was concerned; complicated
perhaps, but never dull.
It’s a funny thing having a
father that others know on a public scale and to which have formed an
attachment, if you will. You go through life sharing him (on one level) with a
public that believes they know the man as you do. That’s the nature of the
audience/artist relationship. Through the music, one builds up experiences, shares
memories through that music, and builds up a certain relationship with that
artist. Is it based on truth? In some ways, yes, it’s a side of themselves that they
decide willingly to give to the public and hence the public embraces (or not). But it is rarely the
full picture - hence the terms, public life and private life. However, with that
sharing comes the things you can’t control, be it for the public figure or the familial circle that orbits him. The stories you cannot censor, the
opinions you cannot change, and the preconceptions that will always come with
the territory.
And of course as expected, with
the publishing of my father's memoirs there are already those coming out with their
criticisms of what is in the book, why he chose to write it, the timing of it, and
so on (and ON….his tone, his cover photo, the font used, his hairline etc.). You name it, the
media and public will critique it and not always kindly. In fact, that’s putting it
mildly. Just visit a forum on any website and you will see how scathing
people can be. As far as I’m concerned, ‘comment sections’ are a coward’s way for
people to be as mean as snakes without any consequence, covert bullying if you
will. And that’s not always easy to read as a child, whether your father is a coal
miner or a politician. Humans by nature are protective, but thankfully my
father needs no protecting, his skin is MUCH thicker than mine.
So no, I won’t be answering
those critics; it’s not worth the effort to lift my fingers to type (although
the uninformed genius that said my
father stole the song, ‘My Way’ needs to go learn a few things about songwriting and publishing). But what I
will say is this, my father is a man that has had a colorful life to say the
least. He has included things in his memoirs that may greatly surprise people – and not
match the ‘perception’ they always had of him - he may enlighten others, and of
course, he may piss a few people off, but then that’s what any good memoir does. I
figure if you’ve lived, and I mean really lived, you’re bound to have rubbed a
few people the wrong way; not to mention if you have a good publisher, you’ll
certainly have people talking about it.
Regrets, does he have a few?
I’m sure he’d certainly admit to that. Did he make mistakes? He’s human (as are all our
public figures, we simply choose to idolize them instead), not a god. But
this is definitely a man that has lived his life 'his way' to the very fullest
and that kind of certainty, confidence and drive was always something I found
fascinating.
Then again, you may
wholeheartedly disagree. And guess what, you’re perfectly entitled to (just
don’t email me about it. :-)