DORMEZ-VOUS
I recently posted a message on Facebook stating that I had
discovered something that has helped with my insomnia and if people wanted to
message me to find out they were welcome to write me. I remarked to my husband
that I bet I received a few messages from fellow sufferers. Boy was I wrong. I
did not receive a few; I received many. And in each and every message
there was a desperation in people’s voices (their written voice obviously) that was
palpable. I mean it jumped off the page: ‘Wait a minute you can sleep, cause I
can’t sleep, HOW DID YOU sleep, please tell me, I just want to sleeeeep!!!!!’
To say that I relate to their desperation is an
understatement. In fact, it is becoming more and more apparent to me that there is a
sweeping epidemic out there of non-sleepers and in any given
time zone there are legions of us that are wide flipping awake. It’s a truly
painful affliction and you wouldn’t wish it upon your worst enemy (okay,
perhaps someone that has laid a hand on the King’s head, but that’s about it).
The irony is, if we insomniacs could somehow harness all this non-sleeping
power, or at least the sheer hours wasted staring at one’s ceiling, think of
all the things we could get done. We could open an agency, an all night agency
that services any job that needs doing at odd hours and of course charge double
time. Cause well, “we’ll do the job with the utmost efficiency but we’ll be
extra tired come morning damn it!” Okay, I’m still working on our sales pitch.
I’m sure those of you reading this blog with chronic
insomnia are thinking, can we get back to the first paragraph where you tell us
what will help us sleep?! The problem is, I’m not a doctor or a sleep therapist
or any sort of professional, so I’m wary about telling people what to take like
I’m some expert; but I will say that in the last few years I’ve trolled my fair
share of websites, saw doctors, joined sleep forums, saw holistic
practitioners, read books, got hypnotized, got stuck with needles, drank tea,
stood on my head, jumped on one foot, prayed to a variety of sleep gods, and at
this point, I do in fact consider myself some what of an expert on the topic of
sleep…or not sleeping.
So of late, the rest that I have gotten at night is due to a
concoction of perfectly legal vitamins/amino acids that can be purchased from
the health food store; and if you do your fair share of due diligence you will
see that they come highly recommended as natural and effective sleep aids. But
don’t take my word for it, check it out for yourself:
(http://www.betternutrition.com/sleep/columns/askthenaturopath/714).
Trust me, if you want to sleep, you’ll read, try and do just
about anything. Even if I said meditate, paint yourself blue, eat raw kale while listening to Kenny G, you'd try it. Come on, you know you would.
The irony of all ironies is that over the last few years as
my insomnia has raged on like an unruly beast, I have given birth, logged more
late nights than I can count, sleep-trained a child, and are now in the throes
of trying to convince my young toddler that sleep is not only good, but a
bloody blessing he should wrap his little toddler arms around. At nap time he
looks at me like I’m nuts when I desperately try to tell him that naps are not
only the best things since February sunshine, but that mommy would pay serious
money if she could lay down and take a two hour nap. But like most things,
sleep is truly wasted on the youth.
Soldier on non-sleepers, and I wish you the best of luck.