Monday 18 February 2013


[One from the archives today. Apologies, but insomnia has reared it's ugly head again!...And thought it would also be fun for you new readers to see how The King got his moniker]

There has been a mutiny in my house. Once upon a time, my partner and I had the foolish belief that we ruled the fiefdom around here. And now, to our surprise, we have been usurped by this small month old entity that we have now deemed ‘the King.’  This new little possessor of power lies on a pillow just staring out into the void, silent at times, and then of course at times, very much NOT. And from that pillow he commands over this fiefdom like it was always his. In fact, never before have I seen such a small creature demand such action, attention and round the clock servitude. We now laugh at how this little body with a big voice merely has to squeak and we both jump like idiots trying to figure out which of the King’s needs is not being met. Is the King tired? Is the King hungry; Wet? Bored? Is the King upset the stock market took a nosedive? Wait, maybe the King does not like what is on television. Hurry, change the channel before the King issues a decree to remove us both from the kingdom! I don’t doubt this child’s power.

And trust me, the King knows when we’re trying to do something that is not on his agenda, like showering or sitting down to a meal. The King can be fast asleep two rooms over and the second one of our bottoms hits the chair, the King’s eyes fly open as if to say ‘I’m sorry, but I did not give permission for such things.’ Imagine what he thinks when I try to write a blog. He gives me that look like, ‘I will let this one pass this time, but don’t think for a second I don’t know what you’re up to, Minion.’ Never before have I felt so powerless (and exhausted. Being a serf is tiring work).

The other thing I find astonishing is the King’s refusal to let me finish a task. I am under the impression that he finds it all extremely amusing and is relishing his role as puppet master. 'Wait, I’ll let her start doing something, then I’ll interrupt her, then of course she’ll forget what she was doing, start something else and I’ll interrupt that too. God this is fun!' I of course – having no memory or brain power in any capacity – do this dance until I have six or seven uncompleted tasks up in the air like balls waiting to crash to the ground.

And of course, the King wields all this power because he has three things in his arsenal that we just can’t deny. He’s young and cute, and apparently helpless (although I very much doubt this one) - a very powerful and undeniable combination of things. Sh*t, gotta go, the King is calling.

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