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Monday 24 December 2012

MERRY CHRISTMAS ON THE HIGHWAY OF LIFE


Christmas for many can be a time of high stress. This is not news. Ask anyone and they will have a story about a Christmas past that involved family, crowds, airports or the like where the stress level was through the roof. It’s just one of those things really. Well, yesterday...yesterday was my high stress day and I’m blaming it on the seasonal detritus that can affect one’s mental state. That’s my defense and I’m sticking to it.

Furthermore, I'm a mother of one. Hence, I probably over think everything and give the King way too much attention. Anyway, we are up visiting my husband’s mother and let’s just say, at times we can all get on one another’s nerves (this is said with love and we all can speak openly about our similar natures i.e. we’re hyper and bossy at times!) Anyway, my husband and I were tired after a long month of moving, he and his mum were bickering over this and that, as family does, and the King was sick with a cough and has a wicked eye infection and was stuck to me like glue, which meant that I couldn’t walk two inches without him clinging to me like a barnacle.

So we were all going to venture out to the local strip mall (she lives in an area with a lot of American-esque strip mall places) and go to a few stores, the priority of which was to buy the King medicine for his eye. So being that my son was in the mood where he wouldn't let his cars, his elephant (sleep thing) or my leg out of his sight, I let him leave the house with his Ele and his 'Cars' lunch box stuffed with all his top tier cars. I mean his favorites, the one he takes to bed with him and monitors at all times. Anyway by the time we get out of the house, it is clear there are a lot of agendas going on and they’re all in different directions. Hence, stress had entered the building. By the time we get to the mall, throw in mass crowds, crowded parking lots and annoyed shop assistants, and you have one hell of a fun situation.

So we hit the uber crowded supermarket and get stuck in the toy aisle as my husband wants to buy the King something for Xmas (we had just moved, were totally crap at buying anything and decided his amazing grandmother would make up for our failings as parents). The King is clutching his stuff like his life depends on it while looking at all the cars on offer (like he needs more!) in some catatonic state. His father finally tells him he has to choose and he picks up some ambulance set for Xmas and we head off. Of course by the time we get outside, my son is starting to moan, he's taken a number two in his diaper (I have no diapers with me) and my husband’s mother has gone back in to the store to buy something else leaving us to debate where we change our son and what with (my husband debated walking up to a family with kids and asking for a diaper but we decided that would make us really look pathetic as we were standing in front of a supermarket full of diapers, but were too shell shocked to go back in).

So when my husband’s mom returns, we traipse to a few more stores for this and that, the King’s mood is declining, and we’re getting more annoyed with one another and adding to this, none of the stores have his eye medicine. We finally end up 30 minutes later at the end of the strip mall when husband says where are the King’s cars? F*DGE. We realize he had left the lunchbox in the market on the shelf and none of us noticed. So we go back, & of course they're not there, my son is thankfully too sick to notice and I'm freaking out, cause well, I'm stressed, it’s Christmas, we’re all feeling the heat, my son has a dirty diaper and I only have one child and give things way too much thought.

So what does the moron me do? I rush into the store like a lunatic, buy a couple cars that resemble his other ones, buy the exact same lunch box and hand it to him. He looks at me suspiciously at this point but his eye looks like an oozing mess so he doesn't really register what is going on. When we get back (after going to yet another strip mall area to get the eye medicine) as we pull in to the drive, we realize that his elephant, his bloody blessed comfort toy of the century is missing. Again, me the spastic mother of one child, seeing NO sense, and needing three hours of meditation to calm down from the onslaught of sensory exposure I'd had at the mall (knowing we were going out that night, leaving the King with mother in law and thinking he had to have this bloody elephant), I say to my husband, to hell with it it, I'm going back (to the original scene of the crime).

It's now dark. I don't drive and my patience is in need of a serious talking to. So what do I do?? I take off running in tights, boots, a dress and a winter coat down the side of the highway (there is a bike path) and I'm running like a FREAK towards this mall like it's sodding mecca. Fifteen minutes later I get there and all the stores are closing and I'm pushing thru security guards saying you have to let me in I have to find an elephant (I'm sure they thought I was on acid)!! Of course they had found his bag with his cars in it but no elephant. So I go to every store we visited but all are closing. I finally hit the Homebase and the glass doors are locked and I'm banging like a crazy lady on the glass and finally manage to get this old man's attention. He comes to the first set of doors and I'm screaming 'can I just ask you a question, I'm looking for an elephant.' Again, he definitely wanted to call the cops. I convince him I'm not nuts and to go search for Ele cause my two year old loves him dearly. He does and four minutes later appears with my son's sleep toy. I practically burst into tears (I'm tired, I just ran down a highway) and hug the man.

I get home, give the King the elephant and tell him mommy needs a drink and is going to the movies and he just glances at me quickly and returns to his tractor show like he could give a toss.

Moral is, the kid is fine. Always was fine, and his MOTHER IS TOTALLY NUTS. :) (and my husband’s take on all of it, that it's Christmas time and I just needed to run down a highway).

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. xo


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