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Wednesday 22 August 2012

ALL IN A DAY'S WORK



Danish filmmaker, Lars Von Trier’s latest film, Nymphomaniac (aptly titled as you will soon see) is demanding that the actors involved go all the way in the sexual intimacy department. Having cast Shia LaBeouf (like I need to see him naked) in one the roles, he has warned the actors that everything is happening, and whatever is deemed illegal will be shot in blurred images. 

Maybe I'm missing something, but isn’t having real sex on film called porn? And furthermore, isn’t. that, well…porn? 

I get it; Lars Von Trier has never been one to walk the linear line. A self confessed phobic of pretty much everything but filmmaking, Von Trier has made pushing the boundaries look like demolition work. His film company has not only produced some of the world’s most esoteric and visionary films, but they are the first mainstream film company to produce hardcore porn films [I bet porn stars everywhere are now having a field day demanding their creative interpretations be deemed art]. Hey, everybody has a dream; and I suppose that is the very reason Shia calls Lars Von Trier ‘a very dangerous man.’ For some reason that statement always makes me chuckle (especially after watching an interview with Von Trier...or Shia for that matter. I mean, Transformers to Von Trier?).

While I respect Von Trier as a director trying to think outside the box, and outside of clothing altogether apparently, acting has always meant to me - outside of the world of porn of course - that the individuals involved are doing just that, acting. It’s the simulation and pretense of real life and hopefully it’s done so well that you can’t see the acting involved. 

Actors pretend they’re in a high-speed car chase on the Autobahn, but it’s really a freeway built somewhere in Fresno using stunt doubles and heavy CGI. They pretend they’re snorting cocaine and not baby powder. And they pretend they’re having sex and NOT actually doing it. So now what, actors are going to really commit murder so as to appear totally authentic? "I had to really kill her, it just felt like something the character would really do." Talk about method acting going one step too far.

I’ve always had my suspicions about the craft anyway, and I know plenty of people who are actors and respect what they do. But if my day job included making out with Johnny Depp, well that just doesn’t seem fair everyone else, now does it? Now actors get to go to the set and have sex with other highly fit and often beautiful colleagues and call it work? Or one nauseatingly better, call it art. PUHlease. Even the King can see through that one. Why not just all go to work in the porn industry? I'm sure they'd love to have Shia in their latest reinterpretation of 'Cyrano DA Bone her Rack.' (Yes, that is my attempt at a salacious porn title. I'll stick to the day job!)


Monday 20 August 2012

POWER OF WORDS




A friend of mine’s little boy unleashed a string of expletives the other day as she was bathing him, almost test driving this new lexicon of naughtiness he had picked up somewhere (Not from her of course. We parents are perfect). She reminded him they were not words one uses, and hence bad words. He of course looked at her, said them a few times more, just to see how they felt I’m sure, and then said, 'why is f*ck bad mommy?' She said at that very moment she was stumped for answer. ‘It just is,’ doesn’t really satisfy a three year old now does it. (Not to mention someone in there...let's call it twenties :-0)

It of course got me thinking about the power of words, or shall I say the power we give words, as with each passing day, the King is becoming more and more like a parrot. Hence, it is only a question of time until he and I have the same conversation when mommy let’s one of her favorite bad words slip out of her mouth and he repeats it. Bad bad mommy.

When you take a step back and think about it, some words we have deemed bad, but it is very hard to explain why. Apparently the mighty F word dates back to 1475, but when it became a vulgar term is unclear. “The Oxford English Dictionary states that the ultimate etymology is uncertain, but that the word is "probably cognate" with a number of native Germanic words with meanings involving striking, rubbing, and having sex.” Well okay then. It is funny that something involved with sex has been deemed dirty and vulgar, but not at all surprising.

Anyway, I’m already preparing myself for the conversation when the King asks me certain words are bad, e.g. f*ck, but a word like duck is not. I mean come on, all that separates them is one little letter. For these little people this is sure to be a very confusing topic. Hey, even I have problems figuring out why a word that is so fun to say is so frowned upon. But alas, there are certain words in the English language that one just doesn’t say - in public I might add - what you say in your own closet is entirely up to you - the F word, the C word (no no no), the Samuel Jackson special: ‘bad*ssmuthaf*ck*a! Although that said, this will greatly vary from culture to culture; one man’s f*ck, is another culture’s ‘phuc’ (which means seal in French) and one man’s sh*t is another woman’s meard. Suddenly the power of the bad word looks altogether less powerful, do they not?

Then there are words that have power due to their historical significance, their role and use in terms of oppressing, subjugating and abusing others. We don’t have to go through the list of those words as I’m sure we all know them well and I’m certainly not dropping them here. For some these words have great power and their mere mention brings up a history that is thick, complex and very hurtful. For others, it is just a word they refuse to give power, because in merely giving it power, they are letting it still have some sort of hold over them. 

You see, little words are never quite so little. So bad, good, I suppose it’s how you view it. Some of my friends treat curse words as commonplace and hence deflate the tantalizing effect for their kids to use them. Or they strictly deem them inside words, as opposed to screaming them out in the market words. Others have a list of no-go words that if said, require a nickel in a jar (god would I be rich if I’d done that) or something along those lines.

Obviously I want to teach the King manners and don’t want the King barreling down the street screaming m*therf*cker at the top of his lungs. Seriously what would the f*cking neighbors think? (I kid I kid)

Happy Monday.

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