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Friday 16 March 2012

THE LEAF SAYS LIFE!


I love this story. I mean love. A Bolivian judge just admitted to reading coca leaves to help him make decisions in court cases. Does it get any more surreal and hysterical than that? Of course, there has been a public outcry for his resignation, which he wholeheartedly rejects. You have to the love the man’s resolve.

Judge Gualberto Cusi is actually from an indigenous community in Bolivia called the Aymara community, where reading coca leaves is a part of the culture. I’m hoping, not in widespread use across the legal system, or the medical community for that manner - lose arm, keep arm? Let's bust out the leaves, shall we?! In his defense, the judge says that he only reads coca leaves when he’s faced with difficult decisions – [seriously, can we blame the man? I often consult my crumpets when deciding what the King should wear for the day; long-sleeve shirt, layers? It's such a hard call]. But when it comes to sentencing it’s all Judge Cusi. That should fill his victims, I’m sorry, I mean to say, the defendants with extreme confidence.

Is it me, but anyone reading the very leaf in which people make cocaine out of makes me a bit suspect. Cause you know he isn’t just reading those leaves. Can’t you just hear it now; “I swear, I only lick them when it’s been a very long day in court.” The Judge of course went on to clarify his comments when members of the government called for his head on a coca leaf. He claims he simply consults the leaves when he's needed ‘guidance’ and not to actually decide things. He of course did further damage to his cause when he added that these very leaves help him communicate with plants, mountains, animals and rivers. Uh huh, put down the leaf Judge Man, your work is done here.

I'm all for different cultures having different ways of going about things, not to mention sacred rituals and customs that may fall in that out of the box category (reading leaves, coffee grinds, crystals, voodoo, you know the lot). But I'm thinking that the legal system is that one iron clad area where things should be conducted in a linear, by the book manner. Call me a stickler, but if I'm on trial for let's say, murder (insomnia, one never knows. Honey, I kid, I kid) I certainly don't want some amphetamine hopped up Judge reading a leaf determining my fate. 

Happy Friday.

Wednesday 14 March 2012

EVERYTHING JUST HAPPENS


I’m having one of those days where I’m trying to figure out why life serves it up as it does – I’m not religious (sorry to disappoint you; and no, I don't need conversion) so I don’t fall in the camp that believes this is all God’s plan. I suppose if I were religious, days like this would feel a whole hell of a lot easier (I probably wouldn't say 'hell' either). But being who I am, it’s hard in certain moments to rationalize the fairness of life, for lack of a better way to put it. Why the good die young – or die old, or die at all – when the bad seem to thrive and take over Wall Street :-). Why some people seem plagued by bad luck and tragedy no matter what they do, when others seem to conduct life under a cloud of good fortune no matter how morally bankrupt they are (there are exceptions to this I realize).

I suppose for me, it was always hard to swallow the cliches that were ponied about to help us rationalize this whole imbalance in life...'people get what they deserve, or life only serves up what we can handle.' In fact, the list of clichés are so long it’s hard to know which to pick…'we reap what we sow, everything happens for a reason, karma, what comes around goes around'…lord, I feel nauseous from the circle of excuses. I always thought of India when people trotted out one of these one liners. Yes, India. Here is a country of a billion human beings and a large majority of these individuals are living in abject poverty. I mean, squalor, feces in buckets (sorry if you’re having breakfast) type of poverty. And then I’d ask myself (and this is even when I was young, as you can see my mind was churning even way back then), why the heck did they deserve that? Or more importantly, why did they have to handle that, when I wasn’t handling that? Why aren’t we all handling that? Was there karma that bad that they only got a damn bucket, when I got plumbing? It just never felt fair.

This is what I suppose turned me into the ‘no rhyme or reason’ person that I am when it comes to looking at the universe. In short, from where I stand, there is simply no plausible reason you can give to me (God’s plan included) to why there are hospital wards of sick children, or mass graves in Mexico, or tsunamis and earthquakes ravaging entire countries (and I could go on, and on and on). No reason other than, just because that is the way life works. There is no reason, there is no rhyme, there just is. Everything doesn't happen for a reason, it just happens (as Keanu Reeves so wisely said. He's like Yoda, that one).

Now, am I going to teach the King that every situation begets some sort of lesson to be learned? For sure. That I definitely believe. No matter what our path or what befalls us, there is a way to approach it, learn from it, and overcome it if need be. But will I impart to him that everything happens for a reason? When it comes to the weather, perhaps – it rains because water vapor in the clouds gets too heavy and it falls back to the ground as rain. There is your reason. But when it comes to disease, freak accidents, the imprisonment and torture of the innocents, and overall senseless tragedy that you see every day in the news cycle, will I tell him it’s all happening for a reason? Aside from reminding him how precious life is, no, there’s no reason outside of that - at least not from where I sit. 


As it so wisely reminds us above, 'everything happens for a reason' is just a nice proverb to make us all feel better about the base unfairness of life. Cause if it happens for a reason, there must be a point to it all, or at least a silver lining. Because let's be honest, silver linings are merely concession prizes, are they not? Your house burned down, BUT, the silver lining is that the house was riddled with asbestos. Well, gosh, at least the fire took care of that little problem, what a fabulous end result! [Is my jaded sensibility starting to show through too much?] 


I told you I wasn't having a good day. 



Monday 12 March 2012

LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS AND BEER


A study recently presented in the Journal of Psychopharmacology stated that there was a significant breakthrough in the treatment of alcoholism after lengthy analysis of studies performed in the 1960’s. And what took place in these six trials with over 500 patients? Well, LSD of course. It was the Sixties after all.

Patients were given a single dose of LSD and it was shown to have had a “significant and beneficial effect” on alcohol consumption – yeah, cause they were too damn high to find the beer cooler! Okay, let’s look at this seriously for a moment, cause I’m all for medical breakthroughs, no matter what helps us get there. Apparently, the class A drug appears to work by blocking serotonin in the brain (that serotonin is such a trouble maker), which controls a whole host of our needs and desires. And what's more, the patients in the this study that were taking the LSD showed a 59% reduction rate in alcohol misuse compared to their placebo counterparts.

Apparently these beneficial affects of alcohol abstinence lasted for six months, but then petered off after a year - I assume that's when their brain finally stopped hallucinating that their mothers had morphed into Margaret Thatcher wearing a caftan singing Peace Train. The authors of this report stated that perhaps more regular doses might lead to a sustained benefit. Yeah, fine people are not drinking, but they are potentially becoming total freaking acidheads? Are they not? I’m not sure x is better than y in this example.

Professor David Nutt, who was actually fired as the UK government drug’s advisor (for an acid dependency – just kidding!) had advocated more lenient laws regarding illegal drugs for research purposes. As he says, “Curing alcohol dependency requires huge changes in the way you see yourself. That’s what LSD does.” You’re damn right it does. I’ve never taken LSD but when I did partake of some magic mushrooms back in the day (only a few times Mom. Sorry), I was convinced a snow capped mountain was breathing and laughing at me and my face was melting off. So I can only imagine that being high on LSD would make me view life a bit differently, not to mention forget all about hightailing it to the nearest liquor store.

But hey, I’m all about out of the box thinking. If there is a possibility of tackling the alcohol dependence epidemic with a little peace, love and hallucinations, perhaps it’s worth a shot. People would be a lot more entertaining to watch tripping on acid than drunk; drunk always leads to vomit, let’s be honest, and that’s just no picnic to watch, no matter how you slice it.

Happy Monday all!



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