Wednesday 2 May 2012


Men are obsessed with balls. That got your attention didn’t it [and I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m going with this. Get your mind out of the gutter]. The other night my partner...sorry, my husband and I (still not used to that) were watching a football match – apparently it was an important one, and hence, the only time he puts a match on. Anyway, it dawned on us that these grown men were simply running around the pitch chasing a small white ball, and how funny it was that they were doing just that (when you stripped it down to the sheer fundamentals). Here they were chasing a ball around a pitch, kicking it, bouncing it on their heads, and smacking it into the net, and more importantly, people were paying to watch them do this (we're such simple creatures aren't we?). 

On a more global scale, let’s face it, sports are not only a huge focal point for society at large, but most of these sports are dominated by men and balls (I emphasize dominated – and not being exclusive to - as there are many successful women athletes out there playing with balls too). Think about it: basketball – grown men try to put a ball in a net; baseball – men smack a ball with a stick and run in circles. Golf – men smack a small white ball with a club; cricket – who the hell knows what goes on in this sport, but there is a ball and bat, so let’s leave it there. Boules…grown men rolling balls in a sand pit while they spit and talk French village politics. It’s riveting stuff, from what I've heard.

The list of ball-centered sports is long and includes a variety of ways to catch a ball, smack a ball, roll a ball, bowl a ball, and put a ball into and over a variety of things. It does cause one to wonder – or at least me to wonder - why we became such a ball-centric universe? (Then again, Earth is a ball of sorts. Hmmmm). I suppose doing all these things with a ball is far easier than trying to roll a square object down a bowling lane, or kick a rectangle through a goalpost; although saying that, how much harder would that be? Olympics take note; I’ve found a few new sporting events to consider.

My other theory is a bit more steeped in genetics. Let me put it this way, the King found his ‘balls’ at the age of six months, and the kid’s smile has never waned – apparently, who needs bath toys when little boys have their own balls to inspect. In fact, from there on out he was obsessed with balls – it may have been his first word that or more. All I know is if he sees a ball (I’m talking about soccer balls now), his face lights up and he wants to run after it, kick it, hold it and throw it at something. 

You see, men and balls….it’s a profound, inherent bond that cannot be broken.

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