MEN AND THEIR BALLS
Men are obsessed with balls. That got your attention didn’t
it [and I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m going with this. Get your mind out
of the gutter]. The other night my partner...sorry, my husband and I (still not used to that) were watching a football match – apparently
it was an important one, and hence, the only time he puts a match on. Anyway, it dawned on us that these grown men were simply running around the pitch chasing a small white ball, and how
funny it was that they were doing just that (when you stripped it down to the sheer fundamentals). Here they were chasing a ball around a pitch, kicking it, bouncing it
on their heads, and smacking it into the net, and more importantly, people were paying to watch them do this (we're such simple creatures aren't we?).
On a more global scale, let’s face it, sports are not only a
huge focal point for society at large, but most of these sports are dominated
by men and balls (I emphasize dominated – and not being exclusive to - as there
are many successful women athletes out there playing with balls too). Think
about it: basketball – grown men try to put a ball in a net; baseball – men
smack a ball with a stick and run in circles. Golf – men smack a small white
ball with a club; cricket – who the hell knows what goes on in this sport, but
there is a ball and bat, so let’s leave it there. Boules…grown men rolling
balls in a sand pit while they spit and talk French village politics. It’s
riveting stuff, from what I've heard.
The list of ball-centered sports is long and includes a
variety of ways to catch a ball, smack a ball, roll a ball, bowl a ball, and put
a ball into and over a variety of things. It does cause one to wonder – or at least me
to wonder - why we became such a ball-centric universe? (Then again, Earth is a ball of sorts. Hmmmm). I suppose doing all
these things with a ball is far easier than trying to roll a square object down
a bowling lane, or kick a rectangle through a goalpost; although saying that,
how much harder would that be? Olympics take note; I’ve found a few new sporting
events to consider.
My other theory is a bit more steeped in genetics. Let me
put it this way, the King found his ‘balls’ at the age of six months, and the
kid’s smile has never waned – apparently, who needs bath toys when little boys
have their own balls to inspect. In fact, from there on out he was obsessed
with balls – it may have been his first word that or more. All I know is
if he sees a ball (I’m talking about soccer balls now), his face lights up and
he wants to run after it, kick it, hold it and throw it at something.
You see,
men and balls….it’s a profound, inherent bond that cannot be broken.