Friday 15 April 2011

CELEBRITY REHAB

A celebrity recently checked into a rehab facility for bipolar II disorder. By now her name is irrelevant, as I’m sure the poor woman does not need any more press regarding her delicate situation. One magazine amusingly called it, her ‘private struggle;’ Considering the world press is reporting on it, there is nothing private about it.

But this isn’t the part that I found so interesting, especially as these days, celebs are checking into facilities more often than five star hotels – aren’t they kind of the same thing, but one has better room service and 300 thread count sheets? And I'm not talking about the hotel.

What I found interesting was the description of bipolar II – a milder form of bipolar disorder. In short, it is described as a cycle of high and low moods, often several times a day, or as few as once a month, with episodes of depression.

Um, call me crazy, but by that description I’m thinking every human being walking on the planet has BPII; or without slandering my gender, at least every single female; especially if we are talking about a monthly shift in moods. Then again, every man during sports season could fit the bill as well. In fact, from the receptionist at my doctor’s surgery to the people working at the post office, there are a lot of serious candidates for treatment, especially in these economically anaemic times. And personally speaking, since the King’s arrival, without proper sleep, I’ve turned into a walking hi-low emotional spigot that doesn’t always operate from the rational side of things. Ah hem...my partner will happily attest to this.

They say Bipolar II disorder is often triggered by stress & exhaustion....again, I don’t mean to beat a dead horse here (or a bipolar one) but what the heck isn’t? Take away sleep and put someone in an extreme pressure filled situation and you’re going to see a serious change in personality, or someone suddenly hugging a bottle of Jim Beam and a carton of smokes (or whatever your poison is). Now don’t get me wrong, I am NOT trivializing mental illness; there are some very serious afflictions out there that are very real. But sometimes I think as a society we are getting far too label happy wanting to diagnose every shift of emotion as some disorder or affliction, when it is is simply the vicissitudes of life that contribute to our emotions. Life is a bitch and she isn't always kind.

Then again, maybe I in fact do have a serious condition that I just don’t know about, such as…‘haveababyandtoomuchtodoontoolittlesleep’ disorder. Yeah, that's it. I think I need help. Lots of help. And time off. Yeah, time off in a facility preferably in Mexico on the beach that serves margaritas while someone rubs my feet and gives me facials all day.

Sweetie, I’ll be back in a month, remember to change the King's diaper!

Tuesday 12 April 2011

SOLD!

I just sold something on eBay. I love eBay, it’s like a glorified garage sale without having to wake up at 6 a.m and deal with the fray. And to those of us out there that love ridding themselves of stuff for money (to only acquire new stuff, on eBay of course) well, what could be better.

And as any good eBayer out there knows, there is a definitive etiquette to the process, not to mention skill. Trust me, I’m still learning. I have several eBay tutors whom I call upon to ask them the best way to make my old junk look like desirable junk. And there is a trick to that, let me tell you. Apparently it’s all in the photo. My old dress lying on the back of a chair with cat hair on it (I don’t have a cat; I’m a writer, it’s for effect), not so enticing. My old dress on a mannequin with a cute little belt, SOLD (I don’t have a mannequin either. Headless bodies scare me).

There is also the amazing breadth of stuff one can find on eBay. Seriously, there is nothing you can’t find on there, it is downright alarming. Sometimes I search for things just to see if they’re out in the selling ether – a two headed dog candle? Yup. A baby throne for the King that lights up – for sure, in fact, they probably come in assorted colors and sizes. You name it, somewhere out there someone is selling it. And it's not all junk, in fact, I bought two pieces of furniture on there that get the most comments when one enters our house (good comments, not ones of fear). Of course I can't last two seconds without exclaiming, I found those on eBay! I'm like a freaking ad for the company.

But of course, with eBay, you are still dealing with the general public which is never an easy thing; I still get worked up if people act like morons - which tends to happen often – you know the type that just don’t read the ad and ask you the same question repeatedly. Or the ones that bid and then change their minds when they win the item – blasphemy!! There is eBay police for that, don’t you worry.

By far, my favorite part of the eBay experience is watching people hotly bidding over my used stuff; it’s almost perverse. People are bidding on shoes I’ve worn when there are millions of stores out there with perfectly unworn shoes in them. What is wrong with them?? My partner thinks I’m a bit nuts as I will walk around the house for days telling him what my item is currently going for – he clearly does not find it as riveting as I do.

However, as any eBay user can attest, the entire process can become addictive. You start looking around your house at things with that glint in your eye and the question dancing through your skull, 'I wonder how much I could get for that??' Trust me, even the King has caught me staring at him oddly from time to time. That little meatball would fetch an absolute bomb (I kid I kid).

Monday 11 April 2011

SPRING HAS SPRUNG

There is something happening in London right now. In simple terms, it’s called spring and let me tell you, it is something to behold. And happily so, it always redefines why I love this city as much as I do. Needless to say, after a long winter, trust me, the love affair starts to wane, or at least lose focus. You see, when you live in a place with four seasons, you look forward to the change between them with great anticipation. Well actually, let me rephrase that, you look forward to the change OUT of winter, let's be honest. Don’t get me wrong, winter has its charm and cozy atmospheric hibernation thing working for it; but after about twelve weeks of it, you’re good and ready to stop wearing a belted sleeping bag.

In places where you can always expect sunshine like where I am from in California – why the heck did I move again?? (sorry, I digress) after awhile you start to take it for granted. In fact, at times the perpetual sunshine can become almost boring. But here in jolly ol' England you earn the sunshine. In fact, you beg and pine for it like a heat starved junky; you sit through winter and try to imagine what it will feel like when you can take off your eight layers and simply feel the sun shine on your shoulders. Trust me, I’m not being dramatic.

And then suddenly out of nowhere you hear on the weather forecast that suddenly it’s supposed to hit 22 on the weekend (for you Fahrenheit folks, that’s around 71 degrees). Of course you scoff at the TV knowing the weather forecasters are NEVER right – it is almost comical how wrong they get it – and this simply got their countries wrong - that's Spain you fools! But then it is confirmed by every channel you check, and you suddenly think could it be? Could spring actually be coming? Good lord, where the heck are my sandals and razor, these ghostly limbs are going to see sunlight!!

The best part of this change is what happens to the city. People become nicer, the parks spill over with people having picnics and eating ice cream, kids playing football, dogs and cats hug embracing, liberals and Tories kiss on the mouth. Just kidding. But seriously, the whole country does suddenly have a spring in its step - pun intended - and you can actually feel the profound shift in energy. In fact, it’s one of the only times you will hear a Brit tell you to 'have a nice day' (for those of you finding this occurrence dubious, the woman at the post office just said it to me, so there).

And of course, as all Brits will attest, you never know how long it will last, so appreciate every sodding second of it. Cause this one week of glorious weather in April could turn out to be our summer.

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