Friday 28 January 2011

SOUND THE ALARMS!!!

There was an article this morning's paper that screamed ‘Don’t Wait Too Long to Have a Baby!’ This paper is known for its fear mongering, I read it for sheer amusement. In short, the article explains that women over the age of 35 are putting themselves at risk for fertility problems and complications up to six times compared to their younger counterparts. And furthermore, doctors are now giving women stark warnings not to leave having babies too late. Cause apparently we don’t have enough to worry about…aging, finding a suitable partner, paying our bills, the imploding economy, that saggy bit under our arms…and oh yeah, your eggs are drying up and you’re going to have an android baby with two heads if you don’t watch it. But please, don’t worry too much and have a nice day.

I remember when my doctor gave me the ‘talk.’ In fact, after my 35^th birthday – oops, I mean my 25^th birthday :-) - he would gently ask about my personal life and then give me that look, and ask if I was thinking about having children. My response would always be, sure I was thinking about it, did he happen to know where I could buy one? This usually shut him up, at least until the next visit.

So here is the thing in regards to the insistent myopic medical community, it’s fine to tell a woman who has a partner that she may not want to leave it too long, but what about the women who can’t find a suitable partner to save their lives? And trust me, there a lot of women out there who have kissed more frogs than Miss Piggy (actually, she’s pretty loyal to Kermit). So what exactly do you tell these women? Listen luv, you need to have a baby, so this morning when you’re on the way to work be super nice to your bus driver cause he may be a suitable donor (and as good as it's going to get).

Talk about placing undue pressure on the female race. Is the message now to women everywhere that they are supposed to have children earlier with the wrong man, just in order to procreate? Hell any man will do apparently! Or perhaps women should start rushing sperm banks in a fertilization frenzy. Just think of it, it would be like the annual Ikea sale, woman throwing themselves at the glass windows out of fear and desperation, knocking over their fellow female sisters. ‘My doctor said I have to do it RIGHT NOW!! Out of my way you barren cow that sperm is miiiiiine!'

I was lucky enough to find the right man, but we still took our time producing the King; I’m not one that caves to pressure and of course greatness like his royal cuteness takes time. But moreover, I thank the universe every day that we did not rush things. Cause the King – as you know – is no walk in the proverbial park. Entering his kingdom takes every ounce of energy I have, and in my younger days I probably would’ve taken him to the pub and left him on the bar by accident. Okay, I may be exaggerating just a bit. I at least would’ve left a nice bowl of cocktail nuts beside him in case he got hungry.

So medical community, STUFF your fear. Women are doing just fine and the last time I checked, my street wasn’t littered with posses of two headed toddlers.

Wednesday 26 January 2011

SKINS

There is a show in the States that has recently hit the airwaves called Skins. It’s an import of a British show and it’s chock full of teenagers having sex, fighting, and doing drugs all with a backdrop that resembles an Abercrombie and Fitch ad. So in truth it depicts - like it or not - what is going on out there in today’s society in some pockets of America - actually, a lot of pockets...come to think of it, when I hear about what goes on in some high schools nowadays, it makes my hair turn white; and I was no shrinking violet in my teens.

The response to this show from the viewing public has been tumultuous at best. Parent groups are up in arms calling it child porn; television watchdog groups are demanding MTV tone it down or cancel it, and advertisers are pulling out in droves. So in short, your typical overreaction by the American public (actually, I'm sure the kids love this show). Fine, I can understand that glorifying teen sex and debauched behavior may somehow condone it. But the notion that teenagers are not getting up to what we know they are getting up to is a bit delusional really. And as always, just because it is on television does not mean your children are going to a) be able to watch it – last time I checked one being the parent can actually turn the TV off, and b) your children if parented correctly, may not be drug fueled sex crazed maniacs. That's the aim anyway.

Here’s the thing about America I can never understand (well there are a few things actually). We glorify violence in such a way that it is downright dizzying. Violence is pervasive across our TV, film, books, & overall media. We’re a gun country that isn’t shy about saying that we LOVE guns and that has significant repercussions that we seem to embrace. But when it comes to sex or depicting the human body, well then we go downright prude. In fact, we're utterly horrified.

For example, there is a show on TV in the States called Criminal Minds. It’s a procedural show about a unit of profilers within the FBI. This show is so dark and violent sometimes I can’t watch it before bed. In one episode a serial killer was murdering children; another episode had a murderer stealing people’s body parts and cutting out their brains; there are brutal rapes, kidnappings, molestations, you name it this show has it. And of course it’s TV, so they have to show all the gory details. So I'm wondering how is a show like this any worse than teenagers being provocative, and well, being teenagers? Are death, mutilation and extreme violence more appropriate to be on television than teenagers drinking beer and taking off their clothes? And keep in mind, Skins is on a channel you must pay for, a channel you can control access to, the murder festival is on regular television accessible to absolutely anyone.

I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather have the King be exposed to sex rather than gratuitous violence. I can already tell, he’s a lover not a fighter.

Tuesday 25 January 2011

YOUR MISSION IF YOU'RE WILLING TO ACCEPT IT

I am jetlag today as is the King. And he's sick, not a kind combination. And I want to feel sorry for us both, but there are bigger things at play - (okay I feel sorry for him cause he's a baby and doesn't even know how to blow his nose). A friend of mine just got a very bad prognosis in regards to a medical condition, and it is one of those things that sobers you in a way that is a little hard to take at 8 a.m. Sobers you, and puts things into perspective in a profound way. A cold becomes just a trivial thing and jetlag is just a little fatigue.

It has also made me angry of course; angry that there are things that exist in this world that ravage one's health, peace of mind, and harmonious state of living. But I suppose it is one of those things that reminds us that we are not in charge, NOT in the slightest, and it forces us as humans to stop and take pause.

So that is what today's blog is...a PAUSE. A moment to remind myself...[and you, if you need it] to stop, look around and stock of what one has in their life. Look at the things that may seem important but really aren't and dismiss them, let go of the trivial and mundane (and life is stock full of those, trust me), and remind yourselves of the things that really matter. The things you truly could not live without, the things that bring your life true meaning, resonance, and love.

I know, I'm starting to sound like a hippy, but there is simply no other way to say it.

More importantly, tell the people around you how much they mean to you; hug your child really tightly, and eat a bowl of ice cream for breakfast. In fact, for one day, break every rule that you've enforced for yourself for whatever reason (I don't know about you, but most of the rules in my life have sprung from pure hubris and vanity...and perhaps health. Health is a big one), and then do the opposite. Obviously if one of your rules is to not drink a fifth of tequila and drive, well that is a good rule; so don't go throwing that one out the window. You know what I mean. Throw a little caution to the wind, go buy yourself something that will make you feel good and do something incredibly life affirming. Take a little longer looking at a view, apologize to someone even if they were in the wrong, eat a warm croissant (a cure for any ill) and dip it into hot chocolate.

Go on, try it, in the name of my friend. Cause without making you want to drown yourself in the milk in your cereal bowl, we only have one shot at this, so let's make it count.

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