Friday 30 September 2011

SO I HEAR YOU'RE DATING AN ALIEN


I read an interview the other day with an actor that was essentially making the interviewer earn every penny of her salary. In short, he was being a reticent, moody pill that wasn’t keen on answering any questions. I won’t name names so as not to ruin the allure when you see him on film. [Daniel Craig…Ooops. Sorry].

I guess he is known to be not fond of doing press for any of his films and sits there tight-lipped with a list of things you can’t ask him. Cause you see, he’s a thespian, and apparently thespians take themselves so seriously that interviews are not part of their craft. They also rarely smile - I don't trust people who rarely smile. Either that or his ultimate role is that of King sourpuss and he’s just totally ‘method,’ dude.

I have to say, this annoyed me on so many levels. Firstly, any man that has made a film entitled 'Cowboys and Aliens' should not be able to use the word ‘craft’ in the same sentence as aliens unless he’s talking about the food table. You’re in a movie where cowboys are combatting aliens...yes, you heard me, aliens. And this is all against a big giant green screen; (Brando would be having a heart attack). It’s not Chekov. Funny enough, the other actor in the film is also notorious for being excessively moody with bad interview etiquette. They must have been a real riot on set together.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a film nut, and therefore have giant respect for actors (the good ones). Not to mention I am a fan of Daniel’s. A big fan. I think at the moment he’s one of our better actors – even when wearing chaps and fending off aliens. But what drives me to drink is when actors forget part of their job requirement – cause as far as I can tell there are only two requirements really. First you make the film, and then you PROMOTE the film so that the minions will go see it and pay your egregious salary. See two skills: Make, promote. Make, promote. See, it’s easy, one goes with the other. Not too complicated, right? Can you imagine if the train driver said he would drive the train, but stopping the train at the stations was just too taxing. "You see, I'm a speed man. Stopping is just not in my repertoire." 

In defense of actors, I realize that it is not such a picnic to sit across from a stranger asking you personal invasive questions (and yes, the media has gotten very out of hand), but well, you’re an actor. ACT like it is. Smile. Pretend. Make up a pretend girlfriend that lives in Canada or tell a few jokes, anything for godsakes. You can control just about any situation with a charming smile. Trust me. [Or I have an idea, try coalmining or driving a garbage truck. That’ll whip your attitude into shape]. As for the thespian jargon, I get it; some actors went to prestigious schools (some just apparently have the ‘gift’), and are reverent of their profession. And many of them find intrusive questions about their personal life not a part of their ‘job.’ I suppose my only answer to the reticents of the world is, you entered a field called show business. Show. Get it. And these days it's ALL about the show - and when your career is tanking you're going to need those very journalists you rebuff now. Call it karma for earning a salary that most people will never see in a lifetime. For those actors that can’t handle it, I have a tip for you: do theater. Hell, do dinner theater. I’m sure no one will be standing outside the stage door wanting to know whom you’re dating.

Funny enough, I recently went to visit someone while they were doing press for a film. He had been at a hotel all day and had three hours left to go after lunch. I asked him if he ever got tired or bored of the junkets. He looked at me and laughed and exclaimed that he’d be a serious jackass to complain about getting flown over to a fun city, paid to sit in a nice hotel and talk about himself for hours on end. As he saw it, at the moment people want to talk to him, which is nice. Very nice. It will be much worse when they don't.

He was acting honest. I like that.

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