WOMEN KNOW WOMEN
Women know women. It is one of those inherent primal things that’s hard to explain – especially to men, but it is pretty irrefutable. I suppose we’re a bit like lionesses in the jungle that can sniff one another out from 10 miles away, we know each other’s movements, agendas, potential for manipulation – hell, we know how the women across from us on the bus will manage to get the red wine stain out from her blouse and conceal her under eye bags without blinking an eye. We’re women, we just know these things.
The funny thing is, I can’t tell you how many times my male friends, or relatives have asked me about a woman (or didn’t ask and we all just saw the train wreck coming from 10 miles away!) not having a clue about her true motivations and in one glance, I can size her up and give them a dossier on how their said relationship will workout. Okay, fine, I’m not Columbo or anything, but I’m pretty damn good when it comes to these things, as are most women.
The easiest spot of course is the woman up to no good. These types are confusing because they often come in nice shiny packages that are very deceptive to the opposite sex; they're usually above average in height, have an affinity for silicone usage even in small amounts, and a doe eyed smile that says, I bake and read the bible in my spare time. Trust me, no one is that good. The catch is that there is always something amiss – be it a strange juxtaposition in their appearance or behavior that just doesn’t wash. Fake boobed Amazonian women are usually not going to bust out a tray of freshly baked bran muffins, but hey, I could be wrong (not).
And of course, men are absolute suckers for this type of woman and usually fail to see the glaring red flags waving in their faces (or they choose not to as they're concentrating on the woman's, ah hem, muffins). They will spend countless hours telling you how she cares for the sick and is meek and demure and likes to pick wildflowers whilst listening to Celine Dion and you can’t bear to bring yourself to tell them that she will have her fake nails in their wallet faster than you can say sucker.
The thing is, women are not being paranoid or trying to burst the male bubble in some cruel hearted way when they point these things out to their brothers or male friends; women just have a radar for our own gender in a way that men don't. On the positive and less jaded side of things, most women out there are pure at heart and would make anyone an excellent friend and partner. But there of course are always the exceptions to this rule - [and do not misunderstand me, men are not the innocents in all this either]. I suppose it is similar when it comes to men and their male radar. Although most male friends of mine describe their gender in a much more simplistic way – apparently all men want one thing, and one thing only. I’m not sure if that is sex, a hot pizza, or having the remote control all to themselves. I’ll have to check and get back to you.