Sunday 3 April 2011


You know how they say never white to a wedding…they do right?  I could be confusing that rule with don’t wear white after Labor Day – not sure what the British equivalent is…I think, 'don’t wear white period, cause if it rains you’re screwed.' Yeah, that must be it. Anyway, I suppose the point is, don’t wear some poufy meringue style dress to a wedding and upstage the bride. In fact, try to look elegant, but do the bride a favor and make a few mistakes on your make-up. It’s her day after all; throw her a bone for god sakes.

With all this fuss being made about the upcoming Royal Wedding – I suddenly thought about how awful it would be to be getting married in England, in April. Talk about being overshadowed on a regal scale. [In Nebraska, I'm thinking you should be okay]. Even worse if you’re name is Kate. In fact, if there is a Kate or Will in your wedding party, just call the whole thing off and elope, save yourself the agony. For those of you outside Britain and happily going on with your lives without having to hear every last detail about their upcoming nuptials, consider yourself very lucky.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for good ol' Wills & Kate and I think they make a very sweet couple. On the same token, I feel actually very sorry for them that this one supposed magical day of their lives is being put under such a microscope. No surprise there however. She of course is being accused of losing too much weight; not enough weight; picking the wrong dress; right dress, wrong bridesmaid, right caterer, wrong hairdo…you get the idea. Every move this woman has made in the last few months has been heavily documented and dissected. The last two headlines I read recently discussed how she likes an 800-calorie burger – cause that’s important - and that Wills won’t be wearing a wedding ring. If I were Kate, I’d have a word with Wills about that one. Then again, the likelihood of him walking into a bar and trying to pick up an airline stewardess while he’s at a conference seems pretty unlikely, purely cause he’ll be the guy with a security detail flanked behind him.

Then there is the fact that along with the wedding photos one would have to stand still for – I’m thinking in their case this may last around 8 days - you would have to accept that your face is going to appear on a variety of commemorative dishware across the country. I don’t know about you, but seeing my face on a plate would freak me out. In fact, I would love a set of dishes if I ever got married but I do not want to be ON a set of dishes hanging on someone’s wall in Slough. Then again, she is marrying a Prince, and I suppose when something like that happens to you, you quickly become aware that life is never going to be the same. 

Come to think of it, are you allowed to yell at a Prince for constantly leaving his pants on the floor? Something tells me they may have a staff to make sure petty things like that don’t happen….Well Kate, you certainly have your work cut out for you, for starters, it’s going to take perseverance, thick skin, and a lot of hard work…I of course know these things, cause in our house, we have a King. It's a full time job I tell you.

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