HUCKLEBERRY KNOW IT ALL
A politician named Mike Huckabee has made the news round the world for coming out and claiming that Natalie Portman (actress, Black Swan) is responsible for the decline of America’s moral fiber for getting pregnant out of wedlock. I’m paraphrasing of course, cause to be honest, I can’t keep up with whom [according to those convinced they know everything] is contributing to the decline of western civilization. My vote of course falls upon bad parenting and the scum-sucking greedy white men running our financial institutions, but that’s just me.
For those of you not in the know on such matters, Mike Huckabee is an uber conservative, anti gay, anti-choice, pro gun Southern Baptist - so in short, a real open-minded guy. Oh, he also was still recently claiming that President Obama was not born in Hawaii, cause he is super stubborn and intelligent like that and apparently a birth certificate is not good enough for old Mikey boy. Just so you know with whom we’re dealing.
So, according to Huckabee, Natalie Portman is not only glamorizing having children out of wedlock, but she is making it look easy and downright dandy to have a kid without a ring on your finger. This of course is distorting how it really is, according to Huckabee, and will mislead young girls around the world into unplanned pregnancies. Cause well, if Natalie is having a kid with a hot French choreographer, everyone is going to want to.
So let me see if I can break this down even further – Natalie Portman, a rich, highly educated, gainfully employed adult has chosen to have a child with an equally stable and employed adult and apparently there is something wrong with this? How about it simply distorts how easy it is to land a good man that can do a pirouette, look good in tights and speak French! And more importantly, last time I checked the statistics of teen and young adult pregnancies out of wedlock, things were in pretty dire shape before Natalie Portman came along. In fact, I don’t think the young women of America give a flying fig (I’m trying to be polite here) what Miss Portman is doing. They’re out having unsafe sex with god knows whom because they can, and apparently no one - meaning their Mom and Pops - reinforced that this was not a good idea.
So, Mike, how about we start there. How about you go back to the drawing board and concentrate on telling people how to be more informed parents to their children – cause we KNOW that you have to tell someone how to do something. I don’t know, let’s see, the new slogan could be something like… “Raising a child on your own is hard as hell. In fact, plan to never sleep, sit down, go out or eat a meal that lasts longer than four minutes, AGAIN.” "Oh, and it’s expensive and you will have to forgo that pair of boots you saw at the mall cause your kid will need a ton of diapers, not to mention every other contraption under the sun to keep him or her quiet, entertained and well cared for."
I’m thinking that this may be more of a deterrent than yelling at Natalie Portman.