JUST ONE PLEASE.
Happy Valentines Day! May your day be filled with love and romance and Celine Dion music-
…Just kidding, I couldn’t help myself. On to blogging...
It is amazing when you have a child how many people ask you when you’re having another one. Often when the paint isn't even dry, or you are still in your hospital gown trying to figure out which end to diaper on your new screaming bundle of joy. I had nurses bid me goodbye with the terrifying phrase – ‘we’ll see you for number two!’ Trust me, after enduring labor, this is the last thing on the planet you want to hear. I of course promptly retorted to all of them, ‘oh no you won’t' as I ran for the elevator at top speed.
Now that the King is seven months old, people seem to feel like it is open season on my womb’s future endeavors. They have no qualms about telling me that not only should I try for a second, but to not try is an offense worthy of a call to social services. ‘Oh you must have a second child, it is so unfair if you don’t; in fact, it’s downright cruel, haven’t you read the research??’ Gosh, okay, well, if you say it’s unfair and cruel, I guess I better get cracking then. [I'm thinking what's more unfair to the King is a Mother who goes on to have another child cause of outside pressure and ends up in a rubber room, with drool hanging from her lip, singing to a stuffed doll named Chucky]. It's high drama in my brain at times. Then of course these same people launch into the whole only child syndrome, inferring that the King is going to turn into some lonely, selfish serial killer that will take to the roof of a tall building with a rifle cause mommy didn’t give him a playmate in due time.
My first response to most of these people is to mind their own freaking business. When and if someone chooses to delve into the reproductive pool again is really up to them and their partner. And moreover, what if people can’t have a second? What if they’ve been getting jiggy for months to no avail and it’s a nice big open wound that brings them to tears? How do you think that’s going to feel when Mrs. Know- it-All at the park tells them that they’re letting the world down by not having a second child.
The other thing that amazes me about people’s presumptions is what if having a second is just not on your to do list. For some, they simply know their limits as a person and a mother and having more children would mean that they would not be as good of a mother. One kid - great mother; two kids - crazed lunatic who can barely remember her own address. Hmmm, I know which one I'm going with. What people also fail to take into consideration is that for some it is a financial consideration, it is twice the work (and from what I hear, if I’m going gray now from one, I might as well stock up on the hair dye, cause two will surely kill me), and there is no guarantee that the King will like someone else entering into his kingdom. Fine, chances are he will cause he’s an agreeable little meatball that loves pretty much everyone – [except my loud neighbor, he has already expressed disdain for him] – but not all siblings grow up close, and bonded and want to run and skip into the sunset. In fact, I have many friends who barely speak to their siblings. Sad but very true.
Yes all of this is very ironic as I’m from a big family, and don’t get me wrong, I loved every moment of it - still do :-). But now having the King, I tell my mother weekly that I have no idea how she had so many kids. The woman should be wearing a 'Mother Medal' the size of Gibraltar. So, whether I have a second, or I don’t have a second - or heck, if I have ten more, although that's not really in realm of possibility - I’m thinking that the King will be just fine. In fact, he’s got enough cousins to start his own football team; and they will be happy to teach him how to share his things, steal his stuff, and make sure he knows he is not the center of the universe.
On the other hand, if the pressure to reproduce a second time gets too much, we could always move to China. NIN HAO!