Wednesday 5 January 2011


The King and I were almost run over by Wayne Gretzky yesterday. We were out for a walk near my dad’s house and around the corner came this big black tinted windowed car. As we hugged the curb for dear life, I told the King, one of the hockey greats almost just took us out (I’m of course exaggerating for effect. That’s what I do. :-) I suppose it wouldn't be such a bad way to go.

That’s what you have to love about Los Angeles. You never know around what corner you’re going to run into a celebrity. They are literally everywhere, sprouting out of the woodwork when you least expect it; kind of like termites. Now, I’m not really one to jump up and down about these things. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all as far as I'm concerned, but it can become a surreal experience when you're at a department store shopping for new underwear and Heidi Klum is standing next to you. Surreal and sobering, as she after four kids looks better than most of us after one.  

You also often find yourself forgetting where you’ve seen these individuals and you can't help but think that everyone looks SO familiar. “Did he go to my school?” “Maybe we went to summer camp.” “Wait, maybe he was my dentist when I six?” Of course you're not going to have this problem with the more obvious spots like Oprah. I mean, I certainly would not mistake the big O for my archery teacher Riverway Ranch Camp. But the more obscure celebs are simply hard to place. You know you’ve seen them before, you just aren’t sure where.

The other surprising thing is how much different they look in ‘real’ life. They’re almost always shorter, thinner, and older. That’s the irony of TV. You look fatter, and younger. You can’t have both people. Of course there are the exceptions to this. Halle Berry in person is just as annoyingly perfect as she is on film. I found it hard not to go up to her and ask her what night cream she uses. Although something tells me there is not a night cream in the world that is going to give me that woman’s gorgeous complexion.

The other thing about Los Angeles is that when you’re from here you quickly realize that the allure and mysteriousness of celebrity is just that. When you see your favorite film star in the laxative aisle of CVS (pharmacy) you quickly realize he/she is as human as you or I. And in L.A you see them everywhere; at the local coffee place (celebs loooove coffee for some reason. I’m thinking all the caffeine keeps them from eating. Celebs as far as I can gather, don’t eat. Period), at the mall, waiting in line for their car at the car wash. Fine, they’re often driving a tricked out Bentley and you’re not, but they’re still just as prone to get nailed in the speed trap by some overly eager cop. Unless of course they are…Halle Berry and then I have the feeling she is above and beyond such things. Damn her.
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