Thursday 21 October 2010

THE FEAR

“Will the markets tank in November?” I have to admit, I laughed when I read that headline yesterday. No, I’m not losing my marbles – well the jury is still out on that, it is highly possible. I found it so amusing because in that one postulation, there was enough fear dripping off it to choke a horse. ‘Will the markets tank? Are we sinking into a double recession? Everyone grab your money and run for cover, ahhhhhhhhh!’ We’re not even in November and yet the news machine wants us to stress about it. Great, like I don’t have enough to worry about.

It got me thinking about fear and what a deliciously powerful tool it is when used by the powers that be – you know the powers I’m talking about: the media, the government, our own mothers! My mom just had to use a look, no words needed, and I would snap to attention. And nowadays fear is running rampant, it is the opiate of the masses whether we know it or not. And fear, my friends, is everywhere. “Terror threat was raised, another attack imminent.” “Autism on the rise, vaccines will harm your kids.” “Our planet is melting (okay, a real bonafide fear).” “The socialists are coming!! Everybody grab your gun and join a tea party!”

Let’s be honest, fear enables things to exist: governments, religion, order. Since the dawn of time it has been used to keep the human race in line. If you do not obey, you will go to jail; if you sin (and we’ll supply the list of sins of course in this nice long book we wrote) you’ll go to hell and be boiled to death by the devil...Well okay then, I will rethink that whole coveting nonsense. Even Santa Claus is fear based. If you’re bad, you get nothing!

In fact, since 911, fear has been one of the most powerfully used commodities. It has kept people in power, it has passed initiatives that ordinarily would not pass; it has fueled a variety of debates from immigration, to defense spending, to our civil liberties (and subsequently had them one by one thrown out a window). Fear has also inspired hate and ignorance, close cousins of fear. Be scared of the man next to you, cause guess what, he probably wants to hurt you. Why? Because we said so!

Even with the King, if someone has put the ‘fear’ into me in regards to his safety or well being, I come to attention like a freaking soldier. Hell, half the things on the market for babies are motivated by fear. Buy this or they won’t sleep – let me tell you, that is enough to scare your hair white. They won’t be smart if you don’t buy this educational toy; you will ruin their lives unless you do exactly what we say. Oh, and by the way, that toy you just bought, it’s probably filled with lead…..Are you scared yet?

Take advertising itself; we are bombarded on a daily basis with fear-based pronouncements. In short, if you don’t buy ‘our’ products you will not only be fat, ugly, and old, but you may just die sooner. So get your fear filled butt to the store and buy a cream that will make you look young, loveable and important. But be warned, crime is apparently up in your neighborhood, I’d lock your car doors if I were you.

Wednesday 20 October 2010

SNIP SNIP

A 38-year-old male drug addict has become the first Briton to be given cash in return for a vasectomy. The man in question has been addicted to drugs since the mid nineties and said he was compelled to do it for the money. George Orwell is clearly in his grave laughing his prophetic *ss off. The man received 200 pounds (about 350 USD) in exchange for getting snipped as part of a very controversial project set up by a US based 'charity' (not sure how this is a charitable act, but hey that's me) called Project Prevention; a scheme started by a woman by the name of Barbara Harris. About 3,500 addicts in the States have been paid to give up their reproductive rights thus far. Apparently Babs – as I now affectionately call her – has come over to London to wander the streets in search of ‘volunteers.’ I use that term loosely as I’m thinking it sounds more like victims if you ask me.

The problem with this charity scheme – well there are a number of glaring problems, but we’ll start with the most obvious – is that one is catching these addicts at the worst, most vulnerable time in their lives and preying upon their need for a fix. Who is to say they won’t ultimately get it together and turn their life around? It happens. And when they do they’ll suddenly remember they gave up all opportunity to have children for the price of a handbag. And not even a Birkin bag mind you! How about paying them to get better? Or hell, if one must get involved in their sexual productivity, how about paying them to get on a contraception program. Okay, a bit more difficult to maintain (especially for the men), but not as ghastly in its permanence.

Barbara Harris claims that she is simply doing a service and tells her critics that if one doesn't like her methods, they should put their money where their mouth is, step up, and adopt a child of an addict. She did just that, and that is what inspired the charity project. I suppose I understand her frustration; there are a lot of children out there growing up in homes without love, support or the financial means to be taken care of because of their parents poor choices. But sterilizing those who have succumbed to the disease of addiction for money seems a bit dark. Actually, a lot dark.

Fine, I admit that when I look around sometimes or watch the news, I can’t help myself from thinking 'that person should NOT have children.' You know, the usual suspects: serial killers, pedophiles, abusers…deadbeat dads, serial felons..people who live on fast food, smoke, watch reality television and love Paris Hilton…I kid I kid.

I suppose the list could get fairly long. But I’m not God, nor is Barbara Harris.

Tuesday 19 October 2010

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, APPARENTLY

Amanda Knox – of the Meredith Kercher murder infamy – has been giving an interview from prison for a new book about her life behind bars. It’s aptly titled “Take Me With You – Talks With Amanda Knox in Prison.” I wasn’t aware there was such a demand for such a book, or need for that matter, but I suppose someone will find a way to make money from just about any situation. And where exactly does she want to go? Home with us? Sorry, luv. No room in the car.

In the interview she claims she does not like being famous for murder, as she finds it 'ugly.' Wow, the term understatement springs to mind. I’m thinking if Miss Foxy Knoxy – as she is termed by some – thinks murder is just ugly, I’d love to see how she describes genocide? Unfortunate?? She goes on to expound that she’s not famous, you know, like Angelina Jolie – she’d need a troop of children and no rap sheet – and she wishes she could’ve become famous for something she achieved; I suppose she should’ve thought of that before gruesomely murdering someone; a depraved achievement at best.

And of course, the interview gets more surreal when Ms. Knox shares that she hopes to marry and adopt children one day. I’m thinking she may have a hard time getting through the adoption screening process with a past like hers.

“Ms. Knox, would you consider yourself a good candidate to be a parent?” “Well, outside of stabbing someone multiple times, I think I have a wonderful way with people, and I am a very patient person. Oh, and I learned to knit in prison and have made the most adorable baby booties.” I can see the ‘no’ box getting a big fat check by the adoption agency administrator.

I suppose I’m wondering in what lifetime does she think she’s getting out of prison to have this idyllic life she’s conjured up for herself? I would hope she would be focusing on doing a bit more repenting, groveling, and soul searching behind bars - any sort of self reflective ‘ing,’ and less daydreaming about what color to paint the shutters on her new home with her adoptive children. But that's just me.

Monday 18 October 2010

WHAT'S IN A NAME

Alicia Keys just had a son and named him Egypt. I can hear the critics murmuring already, branding this name ridiculous. And to be honest, I’ve never really understood naming your child after a place. It just seemed a little forced to me. However, I suppose if something utterly miraculous occurred somewhere, i.e. I gave birth in the middle of the Tucson desert in a sandstorm under the caring eyes of a donkey and three shepherds – it could happen - I would consider calling the King, Tucson. Just to mark the memory…

King Tuscon. Has a nice ring to it.

Then again, I do find it amusing that people get so upset about what other people name their children. I mean seriously, they’re not yours; eyes on your own paper. More importantly, aren’t all the names we presently deem so strange and unordinary bound to be ordinary one day? Perhaps Egypt will be all the rage in a few years time. And maybe a name like Jack was cutting edge way back when, until it became downright trendy to the point of nausea (don’t get me wrong, it’s a good name). Or take a name that is a little more outside the box, like Poppy. Over in England it’s commonplace. In the states less so I suppose. But how is a name like Poppy any more fitting and acceptable for your child than a name like Apple? I mean one is a flower, and one is a fruit. What’s the big difference, really? We’re just not used to hearing people scream ‘Apple’ at the playground everyday. [But you will…oh you will!]

I think the true mark of a strange name is if it offends just about everyone within a two-mile radius; then you’re talking! Try screaming ‘Stump’ across a crowded playground and see how you’re received. Or ‘Puke.’ I mean it rhymes with Luke and is just one letter off, so hence what’s the big deal right? And in French if you put the accent aigu on the e, it could even sound avant-garde. “Poookay come here Pookay, ta mere wants to speak to you!”

I suppose like anything, things are only considered strange or abnormal when they are not in everyday use. This of course can change depending on where you live. In some tribal communities in Africa what is considered normal – for example a sixteen-letter name with one vowel - is going to vary greatly from a city in America where people call their kids LeBron after their favorite sports hero.

We certainly didn’t name the king a run of the mill name – no it’s not King (bet you’re dying to know aren’t you?); and my partner did have concerns that people wouldn’t be able to pronounce it correctly. But as I told him, no one has ever been able to pronounce my name (which is an utter mystery to me) and I turned out just fine. Okay, I do have to repeat it several times and hear a variety of alternatives like Anathena, Anitha, Anthaya, and even Nancy. Yes, some mental giants when they here me say Anthea come back at me with Nancy. I tell them promptly to get in the car and go get their ears checked. Some people are simply beyond helping.

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