TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER

I don’t understand people who join cults. To dispel any confusion, I suppose there are many ways to define a cult (and many cult like groups out there!). For this purpose let’s say a cult is a group of people governed by a leader who thinks he or she is god and this person convinces its followers to do everything they say. Oh, and wear what they are told to wear.

Gosh, when it’s written like that, it sounds like most governments.

A 13 member female cult in Southern California – guess the cult leader was not great in the marketing department – went missing. This is according to the husbands of some of the wives in the group who called the police when their wives didn't come home. One man panicked when he found his wife's purse, which was filled with cell phones, money and a note about soon meeting Jesus and deceased relatives. Okay, definitely a cause to worry - either that, or time to up the wife’s Prozac and fast. Funny thing was, when they found these 13 women and their leader, they were in the park, having prayed there all night and were angry such a fuss was made about them. They claimed they always do this and their husbands have full knowledge of it. I’m thinking some couples counseling is definitely in order.

Cults have always fascinated me – and simultaneously scared the bejeezus out of me – in that it’s hard for me to understand the notion of brainwashing on this scale. [Advertising I get and fall victim to every time]. I’m thinking it’s the same genetic chip that allows one to be hypnotized, something I’m not able to have done to me. Us cynical authority fearing heathens are not very good at being led down the path by some Kool-Aid drinking weirdo that promises us eternal life. I think the thing that scares me the most is the reverential profound devotion these cult members bestow on an average Joe, simply because he or she deems themselves ‘the chosen one’. I certainly hope they ask for references or make him perform a few miracles. “Yo buddy, if you can turn that clunker into a Porsche, I’ll drink your nasty concoction.” That is the least this leader could do if I’m going to give up my possessions and move into some work camp where I most likely have to shave my head, or something severe like that. Then there is the whole sexual element that is found in many cults that is utterly baffling, and well, vile. In short, the leader gets tons of tail, and the followers all have to be fine with the fact that he is sleeping with their friends, relatives, and often children. I’m sorry, but there is not enough faith in the world to get me to understand that one. 

I suppose for some there is such a profound void, or need to be controlled by something other than themselves, that it is easy to hand themselves over to someone else. This should certainly tell us a lot about the human psyche. If not handled or cultivated in the right way in one's youth, it becomes a Petri dish for disaster. The ironic thing is, a lot of these cults are brainwashed by a ‘freaky leader’ who tells them to buck against the system, reclaim control and live their lives on their own terms, ala David Koresh in Waco. I think they miss the glaring discrepancy that as he’s telling them to break free of the tyranny of the government that suppresses them, they’re being controlled by something altogether more frightening. Some freak with a gun that calls himself god and insists they die for him.

I’d take George Bush any day.