Wednesday 8 September 2010


There is a new reality show about to hit the airwaves – cause that is just what we need, more reality television – about a polygamist, his three wives and their 300 kids. Okay fine, they don’t have 300 kids, but once you move into the double digits one is tempted to stop counting.

I believe the attempt of the show is to demonstrate to the rest of the world how normal their life is; they love one another, do grocery shopping, take the kids to school, you know Brady Bunch type stuff. That is if Mr. Brady was married to Carol, Alice, and Greg’s high school math teacher. Now that would’ve been good television. According to the husband it all happened innocently enough. He claims he just fell in love and fell in love and fell in love. From where I come from I think that’s called cheating?

The kicker is, the wives think it’s all fine and dandy and swear that jealousy is not something that occurs in their household. I’m just not sure how that is possible to not have any jealousy; I mean these are women we are talking about. Nuclear couples have jealousy, and you’re telling me that with that many people in a house, there is none?? How about just a little…”she stole my blouse? Or she got you on Tuesday night last week, and I don't want to miss my favorite TV program;” Or, “my meatloaf is better than hers,” jealousy; I mean something!

Then again, perhaps if everyone signs up for the same adventure, they know what’s coming around every turn.  And in fact, the husband, or as I have deemed him, Mr. “I Can’t Seem to Get Enough Tail” is bringing in a fourth wife and all the current wives are eagerly anticipating it like it’s a new Labrador puppy. Something tells me wife number four will be on toilet cleaning duty for the first year.

What’s even better – for the husband of course – is that this man has his own little harem of women looking after him 24-7. Now there is your answer to why polygamy exists. Why have one when you can have four – a no brainer. The wives say they function as a well-oiled machine, a real team that has each other’s backs – [yeah, each one wondering where to drive the knife in]. Okay, in truth, the teamwork thing does not surprise me. My girlfriends/sisters and I often say to one another that we wish we could raise our children altogether as it would be a heck of a lot easier. No giving directions on what to do, maternal instinct just kicking in, each woman knowing what the other is thinking and being able to anticipate it far in advance– you know, the stuff men can’t do.

I also find it curious that it’s always men that take more than one wife (actually I think I know the answer to this). It’s so rare that you see women with three husbands. Then again, I’m thinking it is because they realize it would be more of a headache than a help. Three sets of boxer shorts to pick up, three dinners to cook, three men looking at you with that blank stare when you ask them if they have anything to say; three men to say to ‘not tonight honey, I have a headache!’

No thanks. I find one tiring enough (love ya honey). 
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