Tuesday 10 August 2010


Just when you think you’ve seen and heard it all. This one will definitely go down in the books as one of the most avoidable  - and idiotic - catastrophes I’ve ever heard. So, this mental giant in Turkey was getting married; sorry, but he deserves it, as you will soon see. Apparently, as is the Turkish custom – or so it seems in this village of moronic behavior, the groom took it upon himself to fire his AK-47 into the air to celebrate his nuptials. The problem was clearly his aim as he ended up losing control of his rifle, and fired into the crowd of family and guests killing three and injuring six others. To make matters worse, he killed his own father and two aunts and those injured were children. (The poor aunts always get the brunt of things…I'm thinking family relations were strained. If they weren’t before, they definitely are now).

It’s hard to imagine how the conversation went between the bride and groom before the wedding. “Babe, do you think this rifle goes with my suit?” “Gun metal and navy are the new black sweetheart, I think you look bitchin.” Then again, knowing men, I’m sure he failed to tell her his brilliant idea and thought he’d surprise her during the ceremony before they rocked out to the Bee Gees.

Maybe I’m simple, but I always thought that rice or confetti seemed like a decent enough way to toast the happy couple. Hell, raise a glass of champagne, make a long sentimental speech, learn the tango..but an assault rifle? I’m thinking it’s a bit much especially at an event where alcohol is practically mandatory due to so many relatives in close proximity (I've been to a near sober wedding and let me tell you, that is one LONG day). The bigger question is, if one must pack heat at their own wedding, can they not use blanks?! Again, an obvious choice when one is aiming a rifle into the air near a large crowd and firing off rounds like Rambo.

I can’t help but feel for the poor bride – and of course those injured and killed, that goes without saying. I’m sure she was sitting there waiting to cut the cake or take her first dance, not watch her guests become CSI chalk lines. And to make matters worse, imagine the realization that you have not only married a total idiot, but a soon to be inmate. Not a good start to any relationship. Obviously the groom was arrested after the incident. Honeymoon in the clink. I'm thinking til death do us part is negotiable in this instance.
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