Tuesday 8 June 2010


As I said, I am a woman of fairness. So in a follow-up to yesterday’s blog about women’s complaints about men, I shall flip over to the other side and give the men their fair due. I’m not saying this is going to be easy, as I’m a woman and I of course have an answer for everything in defense of our mighty gender, but I shall give it my best shot.

So numero uno complaint amongst men when it comes to dealing with women in relationships (and granted, I’m no scientist/sociologist, so I did not stand out on the street polling men) is that women nag…or as so many of my male friends so kindly put it, ‘they moan, pick, go on and on, get on my back, and obsess about stupid crap that is never that important.’ Okay then (deep breath, and button your lip Anka). Fine, I shall admit that as a whole, our gender probably does nag much more than men. In fact, I will go as far to say that many women do ‘ride’ their men – out of the gutter please – on a variety of issues that obviously vary from household to household: hygiene, housecleaning, ambition, dress sense, their overall stupid and selfish behavior that gets in the way of day to day living. Oh, OOPS, sorry. J What I meant to say is that women are usually the ones running the house, the day to day operating of things, and this takes time, effort and organization; and often men and women’s idea of what is important and how and when to get things done, differs greatly. Of course the little women voice inside my head is screaming, well if men were just to listen more, half of what we nag about would fall by the wayside. But of course, I’m trying to be fair here.

I think the compulsion of many women is to try and change men; or at least mold them into a cleaner, more organized and well dressed version of themselves. I mean, gosh, can you blame us? And as many a woman can tell you, you may be able to tweak a few things here or there and buy him a few new items of clothing, but you are never ever changing a man’s deeply ingrained habits. But I suppose that goes both ways. As much as I want to be a relaxed, easy going 'I don't care if there is laundry piling up on the floor' kind of girl, it's just not going to happen.

Another complaint that crops a lot from men is that, and I quote, "women are crazy." [I didn’t say it was going to be pretty]. Or shall we say, hormonal, neurotic, and irrational. As my male friend so aptly puts it, if you have a…well, let’s call it a va-jayjay, you’re going to be nuts. Fine. I’m woman enough to admit that my female hormones are some powerful beasts, and when they are on all cylinders firing, things can get a bit tricky. Unfortunately for women, irrationality and neurosis – at least once a month -  is just par for the course.  But of course in our defense – as I just can’t help myself – you men try having woman parts and all that it comes with, you guys wouldn’t last a day. In fact, there would be federally funded national studies on how to combat things like PMS, menopause, endomitriosis, post partum depression etc. So go easy on us….or else we’ll cut up all your clothes while you’re sleeping and shave your eyebrows off in a hormonal rage. I KID, I kid.

The last complaint – [as well, men are simple and when I asked for general complaints most men looked at me with a blank stare and just muttered, ‘I don’t know, I can’t think of anything.’ I suppose that’s not such a bad thing – I shall take that as a confirmation that overall they think we are near perfect].

Sorry, I digress; so the last complaint is that women like to over talk everything, and apparently we like to do this at all the wrong times, i.e. when they’re not in the mood, or it’s the middle of the night or a sports game  is on and we of course and want to breakdown the relationship with a fine tooth comb (there are of course exceptions to this as some woman are the shy, non-confrontational types who would be just as keen as to ignore everything). Okay, fine, I’ll give you guys this. Women are more demonstrative, no surprise there, and yes, we like to have answers to pretty much everything, especially if it concerns our future. Men as I’ve said before, are much simpler. They’re happy to simply know what they’re having for lunch. But women on the other hand, we want to know about our plans for the week, the month, damn it, we want to know where we are heading for the entire year so we can plan accordingly. I can imagine this could be incredibly frustrating for the men in our lives, and I know when it comes to my partner and I, I can certainly get carried away. But in our defense – once again! – if men were to give us a crumb now as to where the ship was headed and do this willingly, I assure you, we’d go away quietly and stop pressing the issue (I swear, we would!). Women just need a bit of reassurance and a few moments of attentive listening, and trust me, the rest of the time we can fill in the blanks. In fact, we prefer it this way.

The irony of all this is it’s so easy to say, well if men just did this, women would do this, and vice versa. And in some cases, I do believe that many a problem could be solved by reminding ourselves more that it's not a personal thing, men just don't listen. And for men, women's emotions may flare, but they too shall always pass. But I suppose, overall, there is no easy answer to the age old conundrum of harmonious cohabitation between men and women...well, other than VERY big houses.

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