Saturday 24 April 2010


There was an article online today in regards to the differences in the male and female brain. According to a prominent neurologist, if testosterone were beer, a fifteen-year-old boy would be getting the equivalent of two gallons a day. This is the apparent cause for their obsessive preoccupation with the opposite sex. It then went on to describe the ‘man trance’ that develops from all this testosterone, when a man sees breasts. Apparently this trance is unavoidable due to their visual brain circuits looking for fertile mates. But don’t fear, apparently their attention span is so fleeting, they can go from ogling some stranger to asking you what you want for dinner in the blink of an eye. 

I accepted this about men a long time ago. Men look. You go for a nice walk in the park with them, and it’s only a question of time till they get a stiff neck from trying to furtively eye some girl running in a pair of hot shorts. I actually find it hysterical watching my partner do this, or try anyway (the man can’t lie or be subtle about anything) and to his delight I’m not the jealous type. In fact, a lot of the time it is me who spots the women first – “oh my god, did you see how long her legs were? Her ass was up on her shoulders!” My partner used to look at me with a look of fear on his face, mixed with ‘god how did I get so lucky.’ I think the first few times he was convinced it was a trap and it was only a question of time until I flipped out bunny boiler style. Now that he knows me better, he gets that it's just me being me. From where I sit, if you can’t beat them, join them. 

I also think it’s a woman thing – some women anyway [there are women out there that would gouge their partner’s eyes out for glancing at a member of the opposite sex]. Women look as well, we just do it in a different way. It’s from a place of envy, a natural disposition to analyze the competition and see what's out there. I figure if he’s going to look – and I repeat, they all look – I may as well take part and give him my opinion. Some men actually relish in this, as then it can become an open discussion (and this is where you really see what’s going on in their brains, which brace yourselves, can be alarming) and not something they have to hide. Then of course there are other men that look at you like you’re spoiling the entire game, ‘you’re not allowed in this area of things. Don’t try to change the natural order of life!’ I also find it utterly fascinating as to what men find attractive in comparison to women. It almost can make you feel better to finally realize that thin can be too thin, and curves are a definite asset. Not to mention, there is a marked difference in who men and women deem beautiful (or hot, cute, attractive etc). This is where I get a little scared, when I realize all men have a propensity to find the park floozy...'I don't know, kinda cute.' Okay, we won't go there. 

 I’ve actually put in serious time with one of my male friends discussing the waist hip ratio of the average woman; he’s gone as far as to stop dating a woman cause she didn’t have a waistline. While I wanted to beat him for being shallow, the man has a type and knows what he wants. Maybe we should all be so discerning. I have another friend who could write a dissertation on a woman’s backside and what he deems the perfect dimensions. And he takes it very seriously. I find myself at the park with him like some sort of buttophile squealing, ‘there’s a good one, oooh look over there, what about that one?’ Some women would probably say I’m contributing to the objectification of woman (oh relax!). I say, men are going to be men. The more you fight it, the more you’re going to feel like Sisyphus. And trust me, over a lifetime that boulder is going to get mighty heavy. 
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